I’m half way through reading at the moment; I thought I would give you this to be getting on with. I think to say "As small as" rather "than so small like" in the litter reference at the start. "Can lead to such considerable proportions" Proportions just means size, so you've said, "can lead to such bigness." Put a subject in there, even if it's just "Something, of such 'magnitude'? Use words ending in 'ly' sparingly when commenting on speech after the event.I.e. He said happily. Do as much a...

This is a nice uplifting tale. We all know things that are so easy to forget. We all have loved and befriended felt small and grown and perhaps felt small again. All these things can be forgotten and writing like this can remind. Have you read 'chicken soup for the soul?' Be prepared to cry. Be prepared to see another ray up there on that sun in the sky.

I'm not sure what to say about this: I wrote one review, than deleted it and here i am having another go. On a first read, i felt the use of language coupled with the quite abtract symbolism, confused the message. The message did get to me in the end: God made it all and we blew it now 'she' is given us negative feedback. I'm not sure the complexity of some of the lines is that helpful. Lines like 'and the animals were afraid but we were not' halt progress. And 'us' is used, i think i worked ...

I wanted desperately to understand this. In the back of my mind was the notion that perhaps it did not entire sense? I suspect it does but it is lost on me. I wanted to understand it because it is intriguing and well written, especially the opening stanza. daguerreotype and succored? I don't know these words. Succored is an American spelling, I’m in the UK and my spell checker offered me too many options but I suspect it meant nurture? I would like to see the meaning spelled out more clearly....

Wow! By the time Gordon spoke the second time i heard the expressive tones of his voice in my head. i'd wondered who 'they' were, had a few ideas and thanks to Gordons concerns i was concerned too. Mira is brilliant! Surreal funny and somehow beautiful. There is everything to play for here; it's very good. i geuss, given how fresh and new this feels to me, the introduction of the cavern whiffed slightly of traditonal fantasy themes and i think it would be great if you could continue to keep i...

I'm writing notes as i read: In your notes for the reviewer you say you want to put your characters in there and see what they do. I would suggest, if you aren't doing this already, that you give the characters time to develope in your mind before writing. This for me, allows their responses to be 'honest'. The difference between the two was striking: This is perhaps a reaction (striking) that suggests the narrator is a character who is more subjective than objective. If you don't give their ...

Although your words are merely black and white, i can see their colour, they are out of sight. And though they are silent, a find as i read, i am listening, and i swear that i can hear your words...sing. Marvellous.

You shed light in a place many would not think any extra light were needed and suddenly we have new eyes and new visions of the pioneering movements, not of a 'child', but of an explorer in new territory who deserves respect as much as she deserves an aaah! To picture the 'deep squat' of a toddler as almost a giant leap for mankind rather than simply clumsy baby movements is great and true! Thank you!

iT's hard for me to 'score' this peice. I would consider it to be a pretty accurate bit of commentary and the point you make about the flow that should exist beteen the populace and the govenment is actually crucial to a government being called democratic, and yet it needs to be stated clearly and you have done that. As far as publishing goes it would be well suited to a comments section of a decent newspaper. Perhaps with something topical as a link? There's always plenty going on around the...

I don't write short reviews generally but will this tiem, because everythings is expressed so well, i don't feel the need to say very much! You'll probably find you have said something a lot of people feel. I think to say something people fel, but haven't realised they feel, is always rewarding, and i think you've done that here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I thought it was great. I'm not very critical when it comes to poetic technique, but i liked it and i'm glad i read it.