it felt a little stiff, but i saw where you were going with it. it just... felt disembodied. i liked it, don't get me wrong. as a poem, it's very nice, but maybe i haven't emotionally evolved to a place where it speaks clearly to me yet.

i enjoyed the piece but it felt a little stiff. i didn't feel like i was really walking or watching someone else walk. i felt like i was hearing it third hand. good use of adjective though.

even though i'm not a big fan of the broken format poetry, i do enjoy the actual poem. it made me remember times and feelings i'd forgotten with bittnerness. i'm glad you wrote it.

very true.

i liked the story, truthfully. i mean, obviously there was more you could've done with it, further you could've gone, but what you have is good. it's worth a little reworking. also, you're definitely going to want to read through it before posting. there were a lot of strange typos in the middle that caused me to go "now wait, what?" because i'd have to reread them. you've got a mind on you, now just clean up the rough edges and expand. this could be a lot of fun to read newer versions of.

it's a good start i think. i like the idea more than anything, but i wasn't brought full into the poem. it felt like it may have been emptied of something. a little rework on it, some add in on the imagery would probably make the scene a little more inviting. i kind of just felt like you were saying "hey i had a dream about a really beautiful girl in a dress last night" to which i'd go "Oh?" in a do-tell-more voice and you'd go "yeah. she's in them a lot" and leave it at that with no further ...

i enjoyed it though for some reason i didn't feel like i was really there. like i only recieved a tendril of the emotion behind the masked nonchalance. maybe you meant it that way, i'm not sure. i did enjoy it. it was well written and promises better things. i hope you'll continue writing.

you know... i hate to say it because i really enjoyed the living heck out of this poem, but the ending... the ending. it was just lackluster. it was like having good sex only to come to the realization forty minutes into it that you're just not going to cum...it's just not going to happen. not to say it wasn't good, not to say you're not enjoying it, you figure out a little too late that you're expending a lot of energy not to have the kind of ending you expected for the evening. if you shape...

for a poem to the ana community, i really enjoy it. i was pretty active within an ana community for awhile and once i sorta... snapped out of it(?)... i saw it for all that... just... this need to be better than something that wasn't real. but i love your descriptions and imagery. with a little editting this could most definitely be one of the more publishable pieces i've read on here.

i enjoyed your imagery. it got a little rough around the fourth stanza and i wondered if it was going to fall into some drivel, but you saved it nicely. i enjoyed reading this and think that you have talent definitely worth continuing to write with.