I liked it. I thought it was funny and well-written.

I liked the attitude and the vividness of the imagery. "You’re the last girl I’ll forget/ in this dark and stormy head." I think those two lines came out well.

I did feel intrigued by the end of the chapter. Who's Harry, what will happen to the protagonist - I WAS curious about that at the end. Below are some grammatical suggestions, mostly minor: "I went to my parent’s Rhode Island home for Christmas." Did you mean "parents'"? "...plastic soldiers my nephew had hidden among the garland..." "Garlands" would have sounded better. "I countered his one eyed stare." I would have put a hyphen between "one" and "eyed". "...and half open boxes..." Again, I ...

Some grammatical suggestions: "Hanging on the stained, maple armoire, housing the TV..." I would get rid of both commas here. "...the sound of movement forced my stop." "Forced me to stop..." would have sounded more natural. "Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.” She whispered softly..." I would have put a comma after "it" and uncapitalized the "she". "Oh Jack; don’t be so rude..." Why did you use a semicolon here? A comma would have sufficed. "It had been a while since I’d smile..." I think "s...

While I'm not usually a fan of stories about the supernatural, I read this one till the end. You know how to maintain suspense and how to create interest in your story. Some grammatical suggestions: "They crossed underneath the police tape and through the doorway which had taken Colby only a few moments to open." Normally people open doors, not doorways. "The house itself was as normal as it could be; only missing a white picket fence." I would replace that semicolon with a comma. "...It’ll b...

That was pretty good. I have no idea who Cillian Murphy is, but his was the funniest bit. For me the best moment came when you got to the bridge over the Mississippi river. The entertainment industry is so full of awfulness that if you wanted to, you could probably write a whole book in that vein. I'd buy it. I caught one typo ("innane" for "inane"), but that was really immaterial.

"None of these interpretations are wrong..." Surely, some of them have been wrong. Actually, I'm willing to bet that most of them have been wrong. "Juno represented the Goddess of women and marriage." You mean she was her agent? Being and representation are not the same. Saying that she "was" the Goddess of marriage would have been more correct. "...place them in ajar." There should have been a space between "a" and "jar". "Legend says that these paired couple would fall in love." I would rep...

I'd never heard of Vashti Bunyan before I came up on your review. You made me curious, so I checked out a few of her songs on YouTube. I can't say that I share your level of enthusiasm for them. The ones I heard were all nice, but in exactly the same way. The average death metal band probably has greater range than that, yet still not enough to be interesting. It also occurred to me that the majority of all the young women who'd ever lived could have sung something with exactly that level of ...

I loved it. This is a definite ten and one of the best things I've ever read on Urbis. Tiny suggestions: "Brazen, like a fireman’s will, though delicate, like a fireman’s soul, Salmonella Su slid down the pole at the Gernshire District Fire Depot..." This sentence isn't just funny, it sounds great. Its phonetics are good, but only until the word "Gernshire". I stumbled on that word. The natural flow was interrupted for a split second there. What if the name of the depot alliterated with the n...