goalseeker's profile

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AGE: 54
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 06

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Romance / The Rubicon
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Robert sat at his computer, somehow the only connection that he had left with the human race. He had finished his work and come home to an empty apartment, empty ever since he had moved in six months ago, after the divorce from Shelagh. There were no children, even, to share, to bring him human contact, to experience love with, to lavish love upon. There was just … emptiness. He was getting used to the solitude. It wasn’t really loneliness since loneliness is a decision that one is alone; and...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / I See You
Version 1
9 Reviews   3 Comments
CASE #: 2856-CC-0-772 TRANSCRIPT OF CONTENT OF HAND-HELD TAPE RECORDER VOICE OF ROGER HAYNES PEOPLE’S EXHIBIT ‘A’ “So if you are hearing this, Good-bye Mother. Good-bye Father. I’m sorry that it has to end this way. Good-bye Julia, my sweetest love, the most beautiful woman in the world, the woman who would be my wife if I was only smart enough to have asked you sooner. I’m so sad and so sorry that I can no longer be with you, my dearest Julia. Our time together has been much too short, but s...
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Reviews
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Four Sweet Magnolias
Removed
Moves well, gaining the sympathy of the reader. I don't know if you should have built the tension before the cousin first Destroyed her, but since it is the prologue I can see why you let it run. Would it help the story later on if the girl/woman reflects more on the mental scarring after that first time?
Poetry / Warriors Tribute
Can't add anything, it is complete. It says what it wants to say, and it gets its message across.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Novel Treatments / Call of Duty- Prologue
I would replace 'commander' with sargeant, especially if you are trying to get your readers to believe that the protagonist is actually in a battle. Perhaps you could spend more time at the beginning getting your readers to feel the cold, the fatigue, the fear then the blase approach to killing. I would like to see how this develops. Is the camara in his head or is the cammera everywhere? The sentence “Man! I thought I had that one!” has a double meaning to me regarding how he felt, either he...
Poetry / I am what I am.
Ouch! Some pain here that many coul identify with. I like the style of of 2 sentences per line, not contrasts, but qualifications. Did you mean 'One dance at a time'?
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