I'll start w/par.6 & the trap of language "Why we can't...".Rather,the positive.E.g., "Why dissonance is absent...." I enjoy the larger questions and at the same time am intimidated by them.Perhaps the gist of this piece is simply in the "can" and the "can't".You're brave!

This is a wonderful insight into the character of the writer.Very well done.It's tight and varied in scope.Immediately readable.The street signs,reference points and vivid short descriptions give the reader every tool.Your prison analogy is especially savory.My tiny critique is there.Maybe too much,too soon?It could almost stand on its own as a one acter.Which ever way you go with this I'd like to buy the book.I'm a sailor myself.H.

Re;general impressions. Masked malaise.It moves like a maple leaf veign-side up,under its own way to the deep end of a breathless pond.Leaves no wake.Refreshingly indulgent.In the no'.Maybe the gal will come back around your way.Press on!H.

Direct and to the point.The artists' mantra.It's simple enough.My only criticism is the assertion of "real" in line #4.I'm confounded by reality,its deinition,use in art.H

Timing light is right on the money for this street vehicle tune-up.Return to immunity,entendre',shifts in thought and emotion all satisfy, and again, are timely.It keeps continueum and pace at close with question.Oh yeah,two "o's" in too;stanza 4 line 3.I particularly enjoy the larger realities and questions of the "boomer".Tried to access your edu. site with no luck.Will try again,H

Good subject,needs work,i.e.posessive,grammar."the sun collapse","sways cross","all her beauty" etc.Good luck,H

Good morning, Your style is easily ingested.I ride a train to work.The window you write of has a fulfilling continueum.You've passed the litmus test for artist with tears.The poem itself is solid,straightforward,complete.Other than substituting a couple of periods for commas in the last few lines,it's quite clean.The formatting?Maybe traditional stanza?Again,love your work.H

Here's why I feel you have talent.For the simple reason that at your age, you afford yourself perspective in a tight emotional space.Using the kite is perfect.All the appurtenances for flight are revealing rather than cumbersome.Only crit. is in the punct.1st two stanzas.H.

Damn dude, Snuck one past me.Smacks of a good 'ole Texas Bar-B-Que.I can smell the sage and hear that lava hot mesquite a poppin.I like my TV reporters done the way you did that one.Charred rare,with a Texas long neck to wash her down.An aside addage for desert;er dessert.

Hey DO There's an honesty here that is inescapable.On the bus. furthers,in my opinion,the piece is charming in its frank impartations.I'd maybe lose,"just",line 1,par.2,"so",line 1,par.4.& last question for stronger close.Have a great day amigo,H