herpen's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 23
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 23
I live in the North Devon in the UK.
I have a 1st Class Social Science Degree but don’t work directly in the field anymore.
I am currently studying a Creative Writing Module which stands alone but is is part of a combined English and History Degree.
I want to develop as a writer.
I am really enjoying reading other peoples work. I tend to review stuff that I like, and probably won’t bother even finishing reading stuff that I dont like.
I don’t like reading pieces about peoples personal pain, emotional issues, relationship dramas. Very rarely is this done well, and normally by people over the age of thirty.
I really appreciate constructive reviews but am not going to open reviews from people who have reviewed my work …
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Like those elders who ponder the social acceptability of stretch synthetics and red lipstick, I myself consider the merits or lack thereof, of twinsets, lavender perfume and best china. Somehow believing they may propel me thirty years to an unspent paradigm of taking time, tea and secaturs to the roses.
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Point 4 Miscarriage Point 4 missed period Point 4 step child Point 4 Never conceived a third Point 4 Tried,tried and tried and failed Point 4 Twin foetus never reached term Point 4 Removed by social services Point 4 Never cared for anyway Point 4 Abortion Point 4 Point 4 Or … My children distrubuted In five knotted hankerchiefs amongst the careless ungrateful And greedy.
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Version 2
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You and I, Our small thread lives Throw yarns The colour of sun and petroleum, They trace indefinite routes Within this Mandalic mutation. Persisting to realise, They will pull us from our feet and hurl us Straight Into the eye of the needle.
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Version 1
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Cast before the conductor They wait. Hand in hand We the cello section Slip quietly to the bar.
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Version 1
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You and I, Our small thread lives Throw yarns The colour of sun and petroleum They trace indefinite routes Within this Mandalic mutation. Persisting to realise They will pull us from our feet and hurl us Straight Into the eye of the needle.
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Reviews
Hmmm, this is an interesting piece. My only critisism would be is the use of the words 'burning' and 'bleeding'. These words are powerful and striking. I would prefer it if you saved the impact until the end personally. This is because it does have a strong impact. I felt an emotional reaction to it. But be clever becuase it is a piece with a strong shock factor and you might want to hone it a little.
I like this. It is short. It says so much using so little. I like poetry which is concise. No litter, or less than nesassary words. And so damn true. I'm not sure what chupacabras but still.. Thankyou
Very succinct little quote. I think it is 'ashamed' not 'a shamed' I found it thought provoking. I wondered why the narrator didn't just wank away from the narratee.
This is a piece which I feel, on first glance offers very little. But there is a story, a narrative thread. I want to know what the 'It' is. I get the felling of great uncertainty and trepidation. Until the end when the protagonist has made the decision. I would live to know more. I like the way that you have used the words 'flickering' 'scattering' and 'crakling', this adds to the strong imagary and feel of the poem. I like this. As a poem, I'm not sure if it is done justice as it feels very...
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