You use strong descriptions in this piece. It has a neo pagan feel to it. This is obviously a metaphorical piece, and in a way it is a nice metaphor. Your language conjours up some nice visual imagery 'Its roots are deep, and a lone sapling has grown next to it, sheltering ' The second but last paragraph has some particularly nice imagary. You use the word knarled. I like this word but it is such a cliched word to use when describing old trees. In the second paragraph, you repeat 'it' or 'it'...

This reminds me of lyrics to some metal song. Its a powerful piece, language is strong. My only critisism is the following couple of lines. Don’t stay here, you don’t fit in Your life would only be thrown in a spin The second line reads as if the rhyme has been a little forced. And It’s almost like life is a game Its almost like? This piece has conviction, these few words arn't so sure. I would try changing them. Despite the anger and vitriol, it reads as a very positive peice. Well done! Now...

I think this is the second piece of yours I've read today, you have a distinct and strong voice. Again, this is very lyrical, and the start is fantastic. It draws the reader in and you use some great imagery. Despite the excellent imagary and language, I have struggled to follow the narrative thread of this piece. I imagined at the beginning that she was running after the train, having been abandoned by someone or some people. I then got a little lost after the third stanza. I think again, th...

You have LOADS AND LOADS of potential here. What you have written reminds me a little of Terry Brooks Running with Demons. O.k, first of all, you use her name too many times in the first paragraph. She or her will suffice here and there. The transition between paragraphs is a little disconnected. There is a kind of jumpiness in your writing, its a 'this happened, this happened, this happened' but it is consistent and within it your detail and imagary are fantastic. There are also some absolut...

I Really like this! Both visceral and tender language used to effect; great imagery through either end of the spectrum. Only criticism would be the structure between lines 13 - 20. Like what you're trying to create, but it breaks up the flowing 'dreamlike' rhythm. Your critism of the rhyming pairs was slightly self-depreciating; so many people try to achieve this style to the detriment of the content. As mentioned, I felt it worked. Keep going!

I like the way that you have used the metaphor of a forest to describe a confusion of strong feelings. This runs neatly through each stanza and creates a strong image. This strengthens the rest of your text which somehow feels as if it has been wrapped around the imagary of the forest. The word 'Haunting' works well here too. There is also, for the reader the notion of 'can't see the wood for the trees' I don't usually find poems of this nature particularly good, but the layers of imagary, me...

This is a piece which I feel, on first glance offers very little. But there is a story, a narrative thread. I want to know what the 'It' is. I get the felling of great uncertainty and trepidation. Until the end when the protagonist has made the decision. I would live to know more. I like the way that you have used the words 'flickering' 'scattering' and 'crakling', this adds to the strong imagary and feel of the poem. I like this. As a poem, I'm not sure if it is done justice as it feels very...

Very succinct little quote. I think it is 'ashamed' not 'a shamed' I found it thought provoking. I wondered why the narrator didn't just wank away from the narratee.

I like this. It is short. It says so much using so little. I like poetry which is concise. No litter, or less than nesassary words. And so damn true. I'm not sure what chupacabras but still.. Thankyou

Hmmm, this is an interesting piece. My only critisism would be is the use of the words 'burning' and 'bleeding'. These words are powerful and striking. I would prefer it if you saved the impact until the end personally. This is because it does have a strong impact. I felt an emotional reaction to it. But be clever becuase it is a piece with a strong shock factor and you might want to hone it a little.