hinairusu's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 04
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 04
to describe myself, now that is a hard task for anyone to accomplish subjectively, but i will attempt to.
im a poet in denial, because although i write alot of poetry i often burn what i have written shortly after finishing it. i dont know why, i just dont like sharing them so much any more. most of what i write is bassed upon one of my 4 muse’s, Sanura, Nyx, Kirstilla, or my little Hinoa. this is because they provide me with the things i need to keep going. three of my muse’s are real people, the fourth, well, he lives somewhere i believe.
for the most part, my star sign is frighteningly accurate, as a scorpio seems to sum me up well.
someone once wrote me a poem, and i believe that it sums me up better than anything i could e…
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Version 1
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Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, How life feels like a clock, Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, An hour glass that has no end. Taa ta taa ta taa ta taa, Sitting all day at the bar Rat a tat a tat a tat, I have had enough of that!
Version 2
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the golden glow of the sunlight beats down upon her brow, glistening as she furrows it in concentration, gazing intently upon the piece she is still sketching. the image is irrelevant, sometimes it is jewelry, sometimes clothes, but still just a collection of lines, pale in comparison with the drawer. her eyes sparkle like the glow of the sea shining upon the bottom of a cavern, showing that her latest piece is done. her faint smile bringing life to her face, giving it a joyful look. the cl...
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A finger raised to pink rose lips, the dripping of the blood a grimace unfelt, the soft delicate biting of the cut, seeping in like the steady flow. Bah, bah...bah, bah... bah, bah... Steady it flows, seeping further and further, A whisper escaping the ever lost cells, The sound a quiet scream; Never loud enough to be heard. Bah, bah...bah, bah... bah, bah... A shallow kiss replacing that finger, Dancing across the red covered silk, The paper left upon the floor, The cut to be shown all t...
Version 1
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sex, drugs, and very diffuclt poetry.
Version 1
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Poetry; to draw with meer words
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its good, an apt description of many peoples lives, but surely a comment about not finding the brakes would have been better. number 24 please, cant wait to read it.
nice and short, a sweet little poem. to meet your criteria you would however need several of these to make them publishable, i mean, could you imagine opening a book and seeing just this inside? now that would be a shock :) grammar wise, "What’s it like to hesitate till summers passed away" should be What’s it like to hesitate <> summers passed away while it is etymologically incorrect it does make more sense. overall, good work.
a nice piece, and i like the use of words, but the style of the piece itself is not really to my liking. one thing i did pick up on: " ears tingle as you (...brea…the…) heavy metallic sh!nes so br!ight stArs" should the last line not read: metallic sh!nes so br!ght stArs extra i confuses people :)
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