honeymfr's profile

honeymfr avatar
AGE: 22
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 28

I’m a twenty-one year old Education major from Canada. I write mostly for personal expression with hopes of being published – but I realize that is a big dream and that my writing isn’t quite that quality. I also don’t write enough for that to be a serious goal.

My hobbies other than writing include sports, stenciling clothes, guitar and just hanging out with people.

honeymfr.deviantart.com

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Dear Hamlet
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
You're a mystery novel Habitual Deceiving Youthful and quick Running yourself in circles Too focused on the details Unable to patch them together And develop a lens through which you can see me. You're a clown A heart behind a mask Jolly yet lonely A performer An actor Playing for a selective audience Who laugh and giggle But they don't see you struggle like I do. You're a gypsy, Unconventional Passionate Playful and jaded Searching for another winding road For strange and wondorous places Th...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
the creaking elms whisper couplets in my ear they sway in iambs and shed leaves in rhymes their arms stretch out over me protecting and sheltering me from the one who used to do the same the dark branches stretch towards the white sky in defiance the changing of the seasons has come too quickly and I long for the nights of summer. the cool north wind caresses my cheeks the moist air licks at my red lips if I shut my eyes it would be as if you were with me again your warm breath on my neck lea...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
You're a mystery novel Habitual Deceiving Youthful and quick Running yourself in circles Too focused on the details Unable to patch them together And develop a lens through which you can see me. You're a clown A heart behind a mask Jolly yet lonely A performer An actor Playing for a selective audience Who laugh and giggle But they don't see you struggle like I do. You're a gypsy, Unconventional Passionate Playful and jaded Searching for another winding road For strange and wondrous places Tha...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Faith and Drink
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
can you be found in this life? seek and ye shall find they say I'm still alone you're just looking in the wrong places at the wrong things I know you can't be found here in the bitter bottom of this bottle yet the burn is more real the buzz is more enlivening than the hidden mystery that is you He reveals himself to those he chooses I know I am unworthy I am the addict the whore am I lowly enough to wash his feet can I just touch his jacket? do I have enough faith in the one who I cannot find...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Poetry / A Nightmare
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
with each pulse the shell grows smaller the flesh grows tighter the hollows more pronounced these haunting curvutures that were once carressed with loved are now dark with hate the greywhite patches the recoiling gums leaving the stubborn, hardened jaw exposed have lost their warmth pink to white to grey one black snake crawls down from the socket curving around the nostril and pauses over the once painted ridges as it waits for the tail end to catch up pauses, compresses, bubbles and slips d...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / Vinagre
I like the feel of this poem. The tone is wonderful and warming. I find the line breaks a little awkward at times, just that some thoughts are split in to two lines. My personal preference it that a continuing thought or phrase should stay on the same line. But other than that, I have no critiques! I think you use good word choice and imagery. Well done.
Poetry / Shakey Bridge
The line "Heaven awash with ragged" is not complete. Ragged is a descriptive word, not a noun. Heaven awash with ragged _____ <-- what? I like your use of color and I especially like these lines: "Down the storied hill/An accidental moment,/Or product of design?" The poem feels very vague and incomplete.
Haiku/Senryu / Disco haiku
I love this! Perfect syllable count, you have included the season which is usually in traditional haiku's but you've contemporized it with the disco. I like how the comma and dash are used for breaks in the lines and flow, they add emphasis in the perfect spots. I also like the progression, where you start with the basic setting (summer), then move to the immediate surroundings (lights/beat) and then move to becoming part of your surroundings (the dancing). Wonderful.
Poetry / Sisters
Very sentimental and sweet. It is full of cliches though. It would seem more authentic and from the heart if you used your own imagery rather than phrases that are so overused. What I mean is "when life drifts another way" and "trials bring us down" and "by your side" are very overused, that the significance of what they actually mean is lost. It doesn't make the poem believable. It makes it seem flowery and shallow, rather than a true letter to a sister. The rhyming is pretty good, though th...
The poem has good flow. I've just got a couple pointers: In the second to last stanza I would recommend not rhyming 'anyway' with itself. Its unneeded, and a little awkward sounding. You also use a lot of cliche's that make the poem sound less original, since a cliche is something that is a common phrase that has almost lost its meaning because it is so overused. For example: 'falling on deaf ears'; 'dish out more than you can take'; 'always be by my side'. Try to think of creative ways, usin...
Favorites
ITEMS (1)

 

Poetry / I write

[ View all ]

People