hpudding1's profile

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AGE: 13
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 14

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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Nothing and Nothingness Intro 2
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
I stared at the vast nothingness before me. A nothingness that was neither light nor dark. Not white or black. It was not invisible, but it could not be seen. Surrounding me, but not engulfing me, the very thing I feared most was all around…in front, in back, to the right and left of me. Of course, direction had become useless, but I  took a step in what i thought must be forward. It reacted, my foot plunging through the air, beyond reach. It had become more even more clever than ...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Nothing and Nothingness Intro
Version 1
3 Reviews   3 Comments
I stared at the vast collection of nothingness that stood before me. Nothingness that was not light, nor was it dark. Not white or black. It was not invisible, but it could not be seen. It surrounded me, but did not engulf me quite yet. The very thing I feared was all around, in front of me, in back of me, to the right and the left of me. Of course, direction had become useless. I took a step forward, It plunged through the air. It had become more clever, and found a way to manipulate humans ...
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Reviews
Poetry / Not a duck
I thought this one was great, and hilarious. You may consider going over it and revising some of the fragments. I noticed a few grammar mistakes, such as "Isn't a duck". You could leave it as is, but I would change it to "It isn't a duck". Other than that, you may want to add a conclusion.
Poetry / Changing Seasons
Locked
Short Story / Six word Memoir
Locked
Short Story / Suprise!
Locked
Poetry / CLOTH
I thought the concept was interesting, though you may want to make a few grammar changes. Most of the fragments you may want to go back and revise, such as: "grinding etching a crimson line". You may want to change that to "grinding as it etches a crimson line." or "grinding, etching a crimson line.". I love the concept, but think you could improve by revising it.
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