I like the intro a great deal. It is catchy and short, but not too repetitive. I like the message and imagery, it goes a great deal to summarizing American decadence. The metaphors of "TV screens," and "Through the broken looking glass" are excellent and creative. I enjoyed reading this song. I would try to give it a refrain of some sort, or maybe add some extra verses. I am not sure why, but it seems incomplete. I would say it has potential to be a 9 or a 10, but right now it leaves me with ...

I like this a lot. It's a Pity that the formating was skewered, but I think it would be great without these formatting errors. I think drenched and soaking should be formatted as well though. If it was changed it would fit in better with the rest of the piece. Other than that I think it is nicely done.

Overall, I feel it is well done. My first instinct was a feeling of cliché , but since your aim was to improve your writing through drabbles, I think that you achieved that aim. A few of the sentences were jewels, but my favorite has to be ' “It – I,” he stammered, shifting his weight between his feet making the floorboards creak. ' The shifting portrays his uneasiness very nicely, and it is subtle enough to be intelligent, but not to subtle to go unnoticed. It helps create the mood you craft...

There was something about this poem that captivated me. The structure is rather simple. But the lines are poetic and beautiful. "In your mouth the metal taste" That phrase is amazing. I love the word order and the vivid ideas you get across with so few words. Nice job, don't stop writing, you really have some talent for poetry.

The tunes catchy and flowing. I would have to hear the music before I pass a final judgment, but it seems like it has potential and oppurtunity to be great. At first it seemed like it was nothing special, but then I read that amazing chorus. Great Job! I hope to tune in to my radio and hear it over the airwaves some day.

I liked the flow and feel of the poem, but a few lines stood out above the rest. The poem was easy to read, and the short quick lines jumped off the page. Those lines were kept from monotony by the more lengthy lines that appeared later in the poem. I can sense a subtlety, as if its an allegory for something. I am not entirely sure who or where Ech'l is, but I will assume its not essential to the understanding of the poem. I loved these two lines above all the others. Truth is a myth. Love is...

I liked the rhyming scheme a great deal. It flowed nicely and remained relatively constant throughout the poem. I am not entirely sure what the aim of this poem is, however. I know that art is incredibly subjective, but I feel like I am getting mixed signals from the writing. This stanza, "Transit conduit space breaking, sending signals around Sending pain found outside to within, stating beware or activating actions through flare of the line" was particularly confusing. You talked about a br...

I liked the scheme. It flowed nicely, and good flow is an incredibly important facet of poetry. I also liked the subtle references. Lines like Twisting hips just so and so to Van’s “Queen of the Slipstream” allow you to illustrate meaning in a short concise format. Nice word choice also. You certainly don't make it hard to imagine what is going on. The lines are short as well, incredible job. Keep up the good work.

My goodness, this piece of writing is breathtaking. I have only read poems like this in published work. I am amazed at your mastery of the English language and the feeling you convey. Even though its been eleven months, you are so in love with him/her(It seemed like a guy from lines like "I even looked past/ all of your lame pick-up lines," but I am not going to assume). I love the last two lines especially. And you now have my heart It’s now all yours to own They're pure brilliance, you love...