idunnopoetry's profile

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AGE: 23
LOC: Raleigh, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 24

www.idunnopoetry.com is everything you’d ever want to know about me.

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Items
Version 1
11 Reviews   0 Comments
Your pain is mine, I feel it deep And for your bind these lashes weep Your road is long and wide and steep But still upon it do you keep And so I'm forced to shy away To wait till you realize and say That you must save your life today No matter what the price you pay That there's nothing you won't give up To have the floodgates slam right shut To rid yourself of your "bad luck" And in this snare no more be stuck Your hands they hold your tightened noose So if from it you pray be loosed Then c...
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Poetry / At Ledge's Edge
Version 1
10 Reviews   0 Comments
I'm sick, I'm done, I'm through With walking all this way just to Give up at edges of the ledges That I wish to dive from to Down to the ground to make the sound Of body pounding pavement found When I am drowning in the frowns Of all the fucks who've stuck around Remove this glue that holds me to A ruined dream that once was you Life's just a lie, where nothing's true I jumped to die, instead I flew
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Poetry / Masquerade
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Our life is a luxury we don't enjoy And sadness the worker we often employ Our attitudes negative day after day Instead of enjoying we wish life away Our mouths they are laughing to hide our malaise And put on a front for each eye that may gaze They're curving on upward and forming a grin Our lips they are smiling to hide what's within On the surface so bright but inside we all cry We strive to be honest but grin as we lie Deceive with expressions our number one task Dishonest by choice and b...
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Poetry / Scars
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Skin is thin and unbroken, Like words of hate, left unspoken, Until the blade of conflict cuts, The skin that spreads, as opened up. The blood flows out like crimson streams, Surrounds and drowns the strongest screams, Until the river Red runs dry, All else is left alone to die. The wound, it slowly closes up, And mends until it closes shut, It hides the pain it felt before, But waits for pain that's left in store. Scars appear where wounds once healed, And still reveal where holes were seale...
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Poetry / Amputated
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
The walls of life are crashing down I cannot find a way to feel My legs are amputated, still I find emotions stay concealed I love to sleep, except the world Wants me to act like I'm awake And so I now must always try To do my best to act and fake Because both my legs are asleep I cannot feel them as I lose And so I scream to make you think To sleep is not the choice I choose So go ahead and do your worst And go ahead and amputate For I can't change the way I feel So I will choose to never wake
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Reviews
Poetry / Imbue
I thought this was very well and creatively written, both in your word usage and your descriptions and metaphors. It was enjoyable to read for sure, but I was at a slight loss as to what you were getting at and trying to convey. It sounds beautiful, but is a bit vague, at least from my perspective. If you flesh this out a little more it could really be a stunning piece.
Poetry / As You Cry
It starts off strong, and in most cases you do a great job rhyming. However, it does sound a bit forced in some places especially towards the end, and I think your piece would flow better if you kept a consistent number of syllables in your rhyming lines throughout the poem. Jumping from 12 syllables down to 8 down to 6 makes it seem choppy. The only other advice I have is that you keep focused on what you're trying to convey... you start off referring to yourself and then it switches over in...
Poetry / Drowning
Very very excellent piece. Extremely creative, beautiful metaphors, great consistency, all the while maintaining coherency. I'm at a loss for what to critique here.. it was all done so well. And that's rare for me. Great job!
Poetry / American Road
Your writing itself was good, and you had nice word usage and vivid metaphors, but your spelling kind of ruined it. I can respect that that's the way you choose to communicate, however, one of your criteria was the ability to be published and I don't think any publisher would take your work seriously with the kind of grammatical errors you employ. For your own benefit and for the benefit of those who read your work, keep it as clean correct and polished as possible. It gains you a lot more re...
The first two stanzas were great. I really enjoyed the semi-psychedelic abstractness of the wording, and the vague hints of dystopia. However the poem seems to fall apart after that... perhaps I am missing some hidden meaning? I did like the your you're we're transition though, that was clever.
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