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iloveMrsNecessary's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 27
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 27
I, like everyone else on this site, LOVE to write. My user name is true. I love my teacher Mrs.Necessary!
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Version 1
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“Give me the time. Did you hear me? Give me the time!” “What?” I said confused. “What’s wrong with you boy? I asked you what the time was.” Said my commander, Admiral Yamamoto Isoroku, from the other end of the headset. Oh, ooh, um, it’s exactly seven forty-three sir.” “Boy, we are less than ten minutes away from bombing Pearl Harbor Hawaii and you have your head in the clouds.” “Yes, quite literally actually.” I l...
Version 1
3 Reviews
8 Comments
A waterfall glistens in the warm sunlight. The soft roars of water sweetly sing. To many, it is just a waterfall. But there is a special kind of gift, Given to only those who seek beauty. Beauty, not of riches, but of earth. A mountain stretches high above the earth, Reaching for the warmth of the sunlight. Its curves and ridges are more than beauty. Nothing compares to its lovely gift. Creatures below listen to it sing, Songs of wonder, beauty, and waterfalls. A white bird si...
Version 2
1 Review
0 Comments
My destination is not near nor far. My destination surrounds me and is not of this world. For my destination is beyond the clouds, the planets, and the stars. My true, and final destination, is made for me, my unearthly home, Heaven.
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
My destination is not near and not far. My destination is not of this world. For my destination is beyond the clouds, the planets, and the stars. My true, and final destination, is made for me, my unearthly home, Heaven.
Version 2
7 Reviews
1 Comment
Kaitlyn sits in front of her TV. A news reporter frantically directs families to lock their doors, "A murder, no, three, have been reported in Clousey county on Summersville road." Kaitlyn gets up to lock the door when the phone rings. Cautiously, she picks up the phone and hears her mom, obviously scared. "I'm fine mom I swear. I'm eighteen now!" Hanging up the phone, she remembers to lock her door. She starts to sit at her kitchen table, but she hears something approachi...
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Reviews
cool mysterious. um if you don't mind me asking, why this topic. i would really like to see this the way you meant it:) i say you could probably describe him more(his looks) what does, and she gave him away mean?:):):)loved it:P
i love the English talk. first, on the first page where it says “No. I didn’t see him, Madame. I am deeply regretful. I came here to tell you that it is a no sale. My henchman tried to sway Olson and it is a no go.” i think that "no go" should be changed to something like, "My henchman tried to sway Olson but it was impossibly hopeless." now if you specifically intended for the no go to be there then great. these are JUST suggestions:)i don't know much about English talk but in the very beggi...
wow. this is soo good. i honestly could not find a single thing wrong with your piece. i would suggest though, to be more descriptive about the emotions. i loved it and i'm adding it to my faves.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
very good. i love how you started it. in "and writing helps fills that hole for a little while." i think that it should be "and writing helps to fill..." very good!!! i love it.
wow. this is beautiful. truly, i don't think that there is anything to correct. I'm adding this to my favorites!!:)
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