initial_v's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 26
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 26
There is nothing better than being able to share and experience creativity with others. I hope to express a scattered collection of ideas and gain insight from other creative minds. Namaste.
-v-
Items
Version 2
12 Reviews
6 Comments
These walls are paper thin. My neighbor tests them daily. On mornings he showers, and usually sings something off key. Days that he should be at work, he plays Jimmy Hendrix with too much bass. The scent of marijuana permeates throughout the halls. A few nights a week a voice will be calling his name. The sound of it changes occasionally. Some time ago, two voices heard one another. They both began calling his name in anger, along with a few expletives. Every week a loud pounding finds his do...
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Life is like… a box of chocolates you say? Cliché! The way they run... and drip... and slip... Trickling all the way down... to your lips, hips, thighs. For that instant high, that exhilaration. That certain cheap thrill with the frill of cherry nougat and caramel. Life is this? You know what you get. It’s scribed on the box, Yet you outfox yourself, and blind yourself with empty excuses and deformed smiles. All the while going about business backwards. Moonwalking your way: downtown, Chinato...
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
You glance at my kneecap expecting it to talk. They glaze, your eyes, into the center of a pinhole. The wallpaper whispers notions of your smoking habits. Then you say, “make it rhyme” and I say, “make it dance.” But there is no purpose in that. Your smile lowers to your hips. Those hairs march off the back of my neck. Twelve feet, twenty four, Rapunzel clogging the drain. A fat man once used these towels, the same way you are now. Our suitcases are filled with orchid tails and scattered quil...
Version 1
11 Reviews
10 Comments
I am the American Dream... the portly bully with enlarged pores and fat sweaty knuckles. Ready to pounce on the meek and minority, to steal milk money and drain other’s dreams. I am the American Dream... forever leather and platinum blonde. With parts that are real expensive, to entice the crippled man with a silver spooned mouth and gold rimmed teeth. I am the American Dream... having all I ever wanted: televisions, twelve packs, conditioned air, conditioned care, on demand gratification. Gl...
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Reviews
How funny! The title fits well with this. A very visual example of people living their lives in a way that they don't want, but going through with it anyway.
I like this concept. Very clever. Just curious, have you considered using "waste"?
It ends too soon! I really enjoyed this. The concept of zombies never gets old, and this brief example is great. I especially enjoy your use of livid- living and dead, bringing it to the forefront of the story. Very clever. Would only change in "his wife was dead now" to "is". No other criticisms. Nice cliffhanger.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Although short, I find this confusing. Some punctuation would help a bit.
I find this clever and interesting in how you describe tendencies of those with different hair colors. I'm a bit confused of the sex of the groups. Because it's guys who usually fight from drinking, but "bald beyond.." shows fighting with hairpulling, something women are seen doing. Is there a reason for 'battle' instead of 'brawl'?
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