iwill's profile
AGE:
45
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 06
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 06
iwill333@yahoo.com
Iwill is a husband, father (paternal, not clerical), teacher, business owner, and writer. Like Ernest Hemingway, he has crisscrossed the globe, experiencing life to its fullest. Unlike Ernest Hemingway, he has done this entirely in his own mind, but hey, that doesn’t make him a bad writer, you know.
Iwill writes fiction that spans various genres. He also writes humor, pithy essays, and occasionally SEO articles on very boring topics that, if nothing else, help him post bond as needed. His fiction has often been compared favorably with Stephen King’s, and his humorous essays with those of Dave Barry. However, these comparisons have been made solely by himself.
Iwill had five stories published by the pr…
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19 Reviews
47 Comments
Ms. Einstein, I am submitting this query letter and first chapter to you as part of your request for manuscripts through the Urbis.com writers’ website. QUOIN OF THE REALM is a paranormal thriller set in present-time Morenek, a fictional town in western upstate New York and battleground for concealed supernatural forces. It spans three days in the life of a fourteen-year-old girl who is unable to express emotion with her face or voice, her alcoholic, formerly successful type-A-in-declin...
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This is quite riveting, and I was drawn in immediately because you started in the middle of the action. I liked the twists and turns, especially Ethan being Joanie's father. That said, I think there is a bit too much info dump in this first section. The story migh tbe better served by having some of this information revealed throughout the story rather than all at once (and yes, I realize it's the prologue ;) ). One nit. I think you meant "conscience" not "conscious" on the tenth page after J...
First, your query letter seems to be fairly good. Most people over-write queries. However, you may have under-written a bit. Rather than tell you what I know about query letters (admittedly, not that much), I would recommend that you read "How to Write a Great Query Letter" by Noah Lukeman. He has made it available as a free PDF download. Just Google it. As for the story, historical fiction is not my preferred genre, so my advice may be off, but I think the first few paragraphs, ending with, ...
This is a very interesting story - I quite enjoyed the ending. There were a few things that puled me out that could be smoothed, in my opinion. - The second sentence is kind of convoluted. You might consider breaking it up. (read it aloud) "You see, Carl was born with a lazy eye,[NO COMMA] that, when flooded with alcohol, swam steadily next to its partner, appearing normal and even pleasantly productive." - How does an eye "appear productive"? "The failures it brought him in marriage..." - An...
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