jNIM's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Oakland, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 28
LOC: Oakland, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 28
i’m actually a graphic artist, not much of a writer… i’m just waiting for Steve to get his act together and set it up so we can share and review artwork too!! C’mon Spurg, SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!
Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
2 Comments
You’re so cool you’re hardly here No heart race, no fallen tear Once united, now we are two Why can’t this be killing you? You’re so cool not to bat a ‘lash No morn of love that turned to ash You hide behind a broken frame Have you already forgotten my dying name? I see my soul a cinder black I don’t think I’ll be coming back My misguided angel, you feel no pain What’s this you’re hoping to gain? Mine’s a path you’ll never know Ways in which you’ll never grow How is it that you cannot see A f...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
As clear as a puzzle And dim as a flame, I reach for an echo Far out on a limb. I hear the tree grow, I hear from within. It leaves you, I know But stays till the end It creeps in beside you To lay and betray you To scrape you and claw you And tear you from you It comes in brown packages all tied up with string It comes on all fours when begging for bling It rallies your cause And marks its domain But beware it can meek you and not say a thing I see a tall castle on a distant terrain It stand...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
how long till my heart will overflow To rush the tide and undertow The beckon call a serenade You hear its calling deep aubade Cross fields of green and shadowed brook T’was a lonely peasant’s heart you took I hear your cry sing loud and clear T'is the future I shall not fear My will be done, a silent cheer Our time, my love, is growing near…
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
well, "Miss Meyers," if that is in fact your real name... you will find that i am not so easily disuaded. your attempts to distend this conjuncture will have irrevocable consentaneous affects... antecedently there was thought... thought must be succeeded with action... action is the primogenitor of all that can and will be... which brings me back to you, "Miss Meyers," if that is in fact your real name... because without thought action will never be... and if action is not, then effect will n...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
liquid opiate, crimson, still encased in a globe, transparent in my hand at my lips flooding my mouth gliding down explosion of warmth within the sensation I have because of you Love, me
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
wonderful imagery. your discriptions and sundry verbage carry my imagination though every moment in this piece. my thoughts meandering between a world of excited and beautiful imagery and, exhuasted through disinterred emotional relevance to our current and calamitous situations. it was hard for me, at first, to find the right pace of your work. perhaps some continuity is in order for your next revision? i'm thankful for your added blurb at the end, it lent relevency and context to the piece ...
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Could i ask "brokenhand" what he/she means by, "there is a speaker but no listener". And i'm hearing a lot of criticism but seeing no suggestions nor solutions... exactly what rating were you looking for here? to me this poem is about expression. anyone who's had a friend (or foe) treat them this way can understand what is being expressed here. personally, i can relate to the chaotic expression of what can easily be called chaotic emotions. very well done "neener".
this is great! at first i thought it was just another angry song that leaves you feeling worse than before you heard it (when set to music of course). but it changes. the most redeeming quility of this is that it changes. it starts out so destitute but guides you on a journey to bring you up at the end. to me it is a hopeful song and i like that a lot. it is too easy to stay in a depressive state and to want others to falldown with you. it is much harder and more rewarding to think of solutio...
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