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AGE:
35
LOC: Muncie, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 14
LOC: Muncie, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 14
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Version 3
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On Beaches We can or can’t sleep quickly under Cypress eating plump apricots and melon on a stick, smelling salt from overbearing oceans, waving watery fingers in the air beating jellyfish on grainy sands and loving nothing of it but ourselves. We should or shouldn’t slip off our clothes under wide open skies, seeing agents blinking under spy camera lens, feeling energized and excited as a slipping action moves us together, over and again, a swelling of you inside feeds me warm nectar, our vo...
Version 1
3 Reviews
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"You know, quite honestly, you are one of the most bestial people I know." "Why thank you Patrick! I find it amazing that a deceiver like you could even label me in such a way. You are a liar." "Liar? Why, I do not lie. It's the honest truth! Take, for example, that strumpet you’re currently dating. The girl you call sugar-pie and apple-tart; such ridiculous names by the way. She's the equivalent of a bitch chow with an attitude problem. She sheds wherever she goes; she slobbers over you lik...
Version 2
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Andy are you sitting cutting dead twigs smaller sweating beer through lazy pores, are you eating up the wind? Are you with me looking on are you selling your soul meekly to someone coming off byroads to preachers walking in pairs? Come off the broken plank porch beat the Bible down with fire Revelation eats your soul fear keeps you going back Church has you in panic beer is no longer your wine Natural air is replaced with cheap perfume hypocrisy grows louder in your head. Retreat through whi...
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Once, upon Sunday’s best given sunshine, Henry Delroy collapsed exhausted into cold, cascading water. An hour church service had punched holes in his best sustainable sermon. Each vibrant cantos rolled from a deep souled universe as if coming from a well supplied spiritual well, and for the entire time he was in awe at the power of his unprepared message. Now, outside the foundations of bleached white, wooden church, mere feet to a sparkling creek that snaked into and out of Montana plains, ...
Version 1
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My life was marking time, living without you Indebted to unfeeling people beaten by the world around me where I go crime seemed to follow with a smile you blow sorrow away An era of hurtful regret has lapsed, I've needed you I feel the test is ending the ravages of pain are over a brightness fills my horizon oh honest voice you warm me Yours has scenes of horror, living in fear entrapped by a terrible man beaten abused and neglected wherever you go was there time? who was there to blow sorrow...
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Ah, I see the acrostic, but I cannot suggest anything of value here. Good job.
Love is always being sorry?? No it's not! in the line sunflower fields, "feilds" is spelled wrong. Eskimo is spelled wrong. I like the flow of this overall, but you need to do something with the grammar and spelling. Fix the spelling and you'll be a-ok. I think you have a good thing going here. I'd even venture to make it a bit longer maybe. That's really something to think about. It's not necessary, but I'm curious as to what else will come out here. At least "love" is not all puppies and ki...
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