jasara17 has no favorites yet.
jasara17's profile
AGE:
44
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 21
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 21
I’ve always written, even as a child. Before I could put it on paper, I would tell stories and make up little poems for my family. I was very fortunate in that I have a family who loves the written word and encouraged me. There is a long tradition of storytellers. There are family legends of bards and poets going back to the 13th century, but then again, they could just be tales from around the winter hearth!
Items
Version 1
8 Reviews
1 Comment
Reporting an historical event has always been a matter of luck and timing. Some are obvious. Every detail is written about and everyone is hanging on every word from the very beginning. Then there are those that somehow go unnoticed. These are the sort of stories you just happen upon, and only after time do you realize that here is something of importance. These have always been my favorite subjects because they offer a glimpse into the character of humanity. These are the stories that trace ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
He stood within a ring of lightning That cracked and popped and raged And screamed with unleashed power In that dark and silent hour. Others ran from passion's stage But she thought him inviting.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
He had come to the bookstore seeking to remind himself that he had accomplished something. He needed to see his novel lined up with all of the others- sort of like a protective charm against the feeling of failure he thought he had left behind him. He had just left another one in a long line of bad choices. It sure wasn't the way she looked; Natural beauty machined perfect and packaged for up-scale markets. The perfect girl to party with, she dazzled everyone they met. Yet at the end of the n...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
You have the beginnings of a very interesting tale here. With some attention to detail, it would be vastly improved. Many of you sentences need to be tightened up, simplified and the punctuation checked. This will make it much easier to read. Use language you would use to talk to you friends. A story draws the reader in more if it is told from the point of view of one of the characters, as you did at the beginning. Travis' narrative is made emotionally remote to the reader because they have n...
This created an entire movie of sorts in my mind's eye. The imagery is astounding. I'm going to take a stab at what it means to me. The ivory cellar refers to the unconscious mind or the part of the mind where we store the bits of thought and memory not needed regularly. The rats are the thoughts, dreams and imagination they fuel, triggered by the objects of memory. "Here lies the power that powers the arm" conveyed the image that all effort, accomplishment, perhaps creation, begins with the ...
This would work well as a prologue. As the beginning, or first paragraph, of a novel, maybe a bit too explanatory. It conveys a strong feeling, though and would set the tone for the rest well. Perhaps if you introduced your character in the first paragraph and followed with this one.
Deleted Item
Locked
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
