jenhollers's profile

mother, with your rounded cough, that traveled to my bedroom morning and night, became the soundtrack to my preliminary screaming. vanilla, cigarettes, and scotch your scent flirted then withdrew, all sweetness and sultry did you know how my wild love for you ran back and forth between my tiny eyes? in my early knowing, you were a goddess I would watch you zip those boots to your knee wrapping my child fingers around stiletto that jutted from your narrow heel Oh how I could play with your ear...

I turn in theoretical pages of regret I turn in my theoretical pages of regret Nightly in my dreams I am 3,000 versions of myself I am 6 months old and swimming through ink and paper And I am 28 years old, trying to be accurate and sincere Waiting in line for hours with spirits from my past remembering what was and could be and is imaginary papers full of incoherent ramblings relief of freedom freedom of relief longings I don’t allow myself to know (and I told you myself I know how to pine) I...

I should have loved a dragonfly instead of you With its blue mesmerizing shimmer How it balanced on my skin it lingered beautiful, lingered sweet But when you kissed me The world singing and spinning around us That was the first time I stayed still The first time such a silent clamoring climb married a sigh You kissed me mad, kissed me deep And I was caught, fallen I, between blissful gasp and this weep Some thoughts, some words Some distractions bring comfort In the anguish of an unwitting e...

my own personal village squats in corners and flashes silent pictures we are quietly afraid we are desperately amazed we are learning to live learning to sift through decades of non- reality and reality remembering to forget forgetting to remember and moving in spin cycle while everyone else is walking 1.2007

i am broken crossed with a dream scream and silence pent up between the sea and sadness this sudden aloneness astounds me between my heart and my eyes something goes dying the midnight tennis match of anguish and madness the deepest desires of a soul falling through these fingers what came over you all at once? my heart closes, like a flower at night