jfriend3's profile

"Oh, wait... no... that's not that band. This is the band that perpetually keeps their tour bus filled with 3-feet of popcorn and always has about 10 live ferrets running around. It's disconcerting to see frenetic explosions of popcorn bounding in all directions, even more so when it's coming in your direction; one tends to pause for a second." "I hate ferrets." "So do I." "Then what about the other band?" "Well I'm hesitant to ruin the surprise, b...

"Use your words...” he repeated, emphasizing each syllable "U-s-e    y-o-u-r    w-o-r-d-s." As he stood there on the fake rubber asphalt stuff of the playground gripping the flailing child’s two wrists. A micrometeorite piffed down through the air, sizzled like bacon diving from the sky, entered through the top of his head, and tunneled in a complete straight line down and out from his pelvic brim. Funny, I always thought they streak in...

The Giant Squid One - Why Do We Love It was the longest day of summer the day I brought the giant squid home to live with us; and Kara and Jean and Becky , who all lived in the attic and made an internet serial about girls in boy shorts or something enough so that they were able to pay the rent, came down for breakfast and all made the puss-face with the wrinkled nose while, stating sequentially (something they did with a frequent and eerily lugubrious pentameter) in the order they were alig...

Here is what I hate - You seem to be blessed with a good heart. When someone walks by wearing your perfume, it takes me to you. I know nothing about you.   Here is what I love - You seem to be full of bad ideas. When you walk by wearing your perfume, I die for you. I know nothing about you.  

Haiku is sometimes An interesting art form But mostly it sucks