I like this one because it starts off seeming to be a expression of joy and quickly turns into a sorrow... don't really see anything significant to change, but if you could try using "burried in the grass" instead of "bruised in the grass", I think it could be a better conjunction for yourself and an easier image for the reader to depict... also try scattered in the wind instead of scattered to the wind on the last line... other than the noted, it's a great read... peace

this one seems as though you're referring to someone like michael jackson and at the same time a fictional character... "He grew larger and larger and looked like a man linewith the line that followed that one it made me focus on the fact of someone who lost a childhood due to stardom, and the magic potion could represent pills and stuff and the part that seemed like something fictional were were the references to pinnochio and the large frame unless you meant age and not really size... don't...

couldn't really catch on to this one... the message seems sorta vague but maybe I'm just being over analytical... some things you could change are; instead of saying your time is now through, take out now and just say your time is through, let it flow faster... also "wanna" with "want to"... also, after guess what! add a ?, only saying that because you've used punctuation in other places throughout your work and its best to be consistent... peace and blessings... keep writing...

this one is kind of broken but at the same time a good read... when I say broken I mean inconsistent in terms of the number of words to each line... you could replace ceaseless with endless, and it seems that you have a present terms in the sense of now; so with that being said, instead of having colored my world just say blind spots of hatred color my world... and if you can try rewording the last stanza, you used silent and silence, see if you can find another word that can suffice the mess...

Hello, liked the uniqueness of this one, I can see a few things you need to change, first and foremost there's a typo in the first word, raindroplets is misspelled... replace bleed with bled in the second line, the word saphire has two Ps... heavens and cries, only one should be plural I think, "from the ancient wars to" try putting the word aid on the end of that line and the second to last line change it to " earth becomes the paraside it used to be"... hope this helps in some way... peace ...

I know exactly where you're coming from, it's tough to hold your peace hwen those around you don't do the same... well the only suggestions I can give are to change the word "da" to "the" and instead of released in me try held in me... some of the word choices and phrases are well versed and nicely written... "I have held many words within , that have not been held by the ears of those close to my lips." this one is the best, I've never seen it written like that... overall good work, nice wri...

reminds me of some breaking benjamin type of lyrics... good stuff, the only thing I can kinda go against is the first stanza seems to reiterate the same theme or thing in the first two lines and the last two lines... the rest of it flows okay, but a few words could help carry the line structure more fluidly... "As I wait for the end of day" could sound better and you could try I stand on a bright shore, with the shield that I bore... but since you put that you wrote it according to something ...

Liked this one a lot, a very nice read... it feels to me like you're remembering your child and at the same time giving the reader an idea of your independence you currently have in your life... a line or stanza I enjoyed a lot was the second one because it reminds me of someone discovering their independence and deciding to believe in what they want and not what they were raised on...as stated before nice read and don't see anything. That should be changed except puttiing certain words on th...

Cool read, it seems like you have a struggle inchoosing to have real relationship or a no-strings-attached ordeal... or maybe something along those lines... the poem itself can be fixed with shortening the stanzas which could help with the flow of it and. The only grammar change I see that could help a tad would be saying here where I dwell instead of here I dwell... all-in-all good stuff... peace

I liked this one because of the "what we had in common" phrases followed by nothing seeming to math then at the end you put "not a thing" which put everything in perspective... and also the parenthesis statements are nice since they assumingly show the reader what drew you to her despite your differences... overall its very well thought out and written, the only change I would make is to change came to went since you're referring to the past throughout the whole poem... peace to you and keep ...