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jonathonmyers's profile
AGE:
33
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 10
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 10
I’m a playwright in Boston.
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EXISTENTIAL LOVE A Play in Ten Minutes by Jonathon Myers JEAN-PAUL, M, late 20s SIMONE, F, late 20s TIME: Mid-20th Century. Afternoon PLACE: An outdoor cafe in Paris. AT RISE: Café tables in the street. SIMONE and JEAN-PAUL are sitting at a table drinking espressos in cute little espresso cups while gazing adoringly at each other. They each have a notebook and writing utensil on the table. JEAN-PAUL Simone? SIMONE Yes, Jean-Paul? (Pause.) What is it, dear? (Pause.) Do you have something to te...
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She wonders aloud In the room full of others, Quietly calming the storm With her covering cough. What does she think When she looks to the ground, As her eyes filter down And there’s no one around? Not a sound to be found… Within the sheltered moment, I see How the deep-sea blue ocular With black iris Sparkles like her necklace —Then it’s gone— As the bartender bell rings Its dull hollow shallow ding And she smiles, Adjusting her bra And scratching her elbow, So they know They all know She’s ...
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The character is fairly quirky, but right now there is a lack of drama or dramatic action to the monologue. To whom is she speaking? Why must she tell these experiences of hers to someone? There is a lot of telling, and less showing. For example, we find out so much more about the character in the last paragraph (more than the rest) because we see her relating to another fictional person that is specific. Much of the rest is generalized, in terms of character--it is very interesting that she ...
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This is a very interesting situation, and I enjoy the way you use repetitive elements like the phone calls and the numbers to accentuate the monotony of work. The personalities of the characters are clear, even if they aren't realistic. I'm most interested in their relationship, and what has brought on their opposition. The play ends somewhat abruptly, and I think that the piece needs a resolution connected to the relationship between the two. How is this day, or moment, different from their ...
The rhythms are interesting, but it's difficult to tell what is going on between the characters--the conflict is about a girl, but what is the situation? It seems like the actions in the parenteticals only get in the way of showing us what's going on within the dialogue. For example, the business early on with the window doesn't serve to clarify the situation. However, the slap is a very telling moment because it is a physical action that reveals something about the conflict. Also, check up o...
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