jordanmbobe's profile

jordanmbobe avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: Martinsville, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 02

I have begun the process of putting up new short stories. A few of them will most likely have already been published in literary magazines when I get around to uploading them. Feel free to rip them apart.

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Short Story / Musame
Version 1
11 Reviews   4 Comments
So many hapless, shapeless deities baffle my mind. I hear their voices even now as I write my dying thoughts down upon this paper. I don’t know what has become of the man that was once known and revered by all he encountered, but he has surely come to some informal ending along the passage of time. I am not him, of that I am sure. I don’t know if perhaps he is one of the voices carried in through the open window into this quiet den, but perhaps I fancy that he is. My name, formerly, was Doct...
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Poetry / Pour Les Morts
Version 1
7 Reviews   1 Comment
We’ll tell November lies, To the auburn skies, Another angel dies, Another mother cries. We’ll find the yellow tape, Like a little snake, Just another day, What more to take. In the auburn skies, Another angel dies, Another angel dies for free, We’ll tell November lies, To the auburn skies, Another angel sits and bleeds. The world spins wildly, It seems so nonchalant, A future crushed blindly, Another soul forgot. In the auburn skies, Another angel cries, Another mother dies, Another eclipse ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
1 I took a walk to the place where I’d never met you, To see the sky as it has never existed, And in this moment of perfect imperfection, I realized that my life did not matter. Upon the shores of eternity, Buried beneath the sands of doubt, I found in my possession nothing, But I did not feel without. An angel glistened in the sunlight, Hair the color of the tide, Smiling as full as the moon, She bid me a fare goodbye. Washed to sea were memories, A thousand lost names, Souls lost to the mun...
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Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
Teeth stained red with blood, Red with the innocent blood, The beast sheds its winter coat, Imprisoned by its unholy lust, Its giving into the bliss, So happy in massacre, A gift to the world we know, A world without laughter. Give in, give in to life, Let it hold you down, Give up . . . give it up to fate, Pain will always be around, Raping, snarling, eating away, At your beautiful life, Blowing away the innocent, Gone with the night. Creeping, crawling up again, Making you want it back, Tak...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews   1 Comment
You... captivate my dreams Hold me while I scream Make me feel like I should give up You… drink of my pain Dance out in the rain Make me feel like I’m not good enough So many dreams are lost In your eyes So many lives will rot With your lies And I, I want to go home I feel you in my soul Screaming, and dreaming away And I, I want you tonight Want to see the light Falling, and crawling away So many dreams are found In your arms All of the souls touch ground In your charm But I can not see What...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Moon and Shadow
This had a very "Wizards of the Coast" fantasy feel to it. I think it would be easily placed in some sort of publication by the company, or if nothing else Ace Books eats the living hell out of dark fantasy. The only thing holding you back is some spelling mistakes and some grammar, but you have stated this is a very rough draft. A couple of times there was "Then" used instead of "Than", little things like that. Also note that you used "Swiped" instead of "wiped" a verb confusion most likely ...
Short Story / See-Saw
I love the subtleness of the gore at the end and the scene with the parents, just enough to whet your appetite without going over the top. The story was very well told, conveying the depressing child abuse and the horror it had spawned. I also enjoyed the childish, clown-like ramblings of the horrorific anti-hero. A few things bothered me, the dashes in dialogue and a couple of mispelled words as well as a few momentary alterations in tense presented by the mispellings. All in all, though, I ...
Novel Treatments / Consciousness - Part 3
John was a believable, lovable guy. His actions with the landlord were a bit outlandish, but that doesn't necessarily make them completely unbelievable. You've got yourself a winning piece of writing as far as I am concerned. It's something I would enjoy reading and finishing. The same old editing needs to be done with these chapters. I wonder, also, if you are intentionally misspelling "phyce" which I presume to mean "psyche". Also, a minor thing, I don't rightfully understand "hospital bott...
I couldn't find anything wrong with this piece. I like the witty sarcasm, the mundane sentimentality. I also enjoy the fact that unlike many modern poets you haven't reverted to the traditional stanza taught by English teachers. I would like to read more by you, perhaps an anthology with some more personal pieces. Which leads me to a 10 out of a possible 10. By on a side note, some of us still read and write poetry. So you won't have to worry about finding an audience.
Poetry / Everyday Hell
I like this poem a good deal. It does not follow any formal guidelines, which is always a plus, I hate form poetry. I like the theme of the poem, too, giving people an insight into a mindset that they may/may not know of. It's a good piece displaying paranoia and the effects there of. I love the oxymoron at the end, too. "Timeless, momentary of course". Quite worthy of praise.
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