judy's profile

judy avatar
AGE: 40
LOC: Groveland, IL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 21

Hi all.
I am finally doing what I have always wanted to do; write.  I often came up with ideas that I thought might make interesting stories, but I never had the ambition to write them all down.  I hope I didn’t have a masterpiece disappear through the years.  Such would be my luck.  :)

As for my reviews.  I will try to be as brutally honest as I can.  If anything offends you, then a pre-apology goes out to you.  But I must remind you, you put your story up for review within a very diverse population, so that means you are going to read comments that suck (for lack of a better word).  Take what you can use and disreguard the rest.  

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Horror / WIP - Chapter One - rough draft
Version 1
20 Reviews   24 Comments
CHAPTER 1 Isaac stood in the cramped kitchen when he heard the rattling of keys outside the front door. He glanced at the calendar, secured to the refrigerator by a Happy Bunny magnet, as the sound of a key turning in the lock reached his ears. His chest expanded as he inhaled the scent of the burnt wood and ash. He knew he found her. Akali Grey pushed the door of her little one bedroom apartment and stomped inside all the way into the kitchen. She tossed her keys and purse on the tile...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Into The Master's Lair - Chapter Twenty-Seven and Recaps
by SwordMistress
Hey, It had been so long since I saw a chapter posted, I had to take special care to read the recaps. Good job on doing those. Okay, first, fight with the wereboars..Try to not make it so..um.. mechanical I guess is the word that I am looking for. Work just a bit on the flow. I like the part with L walking down the path and being tested. If she fell through a hole in the ground, how did M find her so fast? Did the path just lead right to her, so he happened across her by chance? You see, some...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Into The Master's Lair - Chapter Twenty-Six and Recaps
by SwordMistress
He had a way of making her feel like she could do anything. Maybe he was right, and she could accomplish anything she set her mind to without him. But he was her confidence. When doubts crept into her mind, he had a way of uprooting those doubts.<-- this seems to be saying the same thing in a bunch of different ways. Maybe make it a tad shorter and to the point. He slid behind her(and) wrapped his arms around her. one last chance to prepare us before we enter the pass. Once we enter the pa...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Satanic Rose
by thedesroyinghill
Hi, First thing, I like the title. I screamed as Dante, my old Pegasus riding friend, told me that my father, King of Athens, had died. I gripped the hilt of my sword, Backslicer. The above paragraph has alot of name dropping. It is a little confusing. I would strike old Pegasus riding friend for right now. The reader can probably figure out you are friends as the story unfolds by the dialogue and action. The torch I was holding intensified till Dante tried to calm me. The flame died down. Th...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Into The Master's Lair - Chapter Twenty-Five and Recaps
by SwordMistress
Nice beginning with the master and revealing his plot to have her come to him. I like the way you had their ancestors meet with L. Zeke’s eyebrows rose as her turned to Ash. (as she turned to Ash?) The others gathered around and looked on. This makes it sound like they looked elsewhere other than the map. The fighting piece with the dwarves was smooth. I liked the spell that was cast on them making them freeze. I like the art work on the walls of the cave. Nice added touch. The writing in thi...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Into The Master's Lair - Chapter Twenty-Four and Recaps
by SwordMistress
Hi! Glad this got posted. Zeke waved of his hand..strike of and smell his body ...smelled When she opened her eyes, again the world had turned crimson. strike again. took a deep (breath) and let it out think I (can?)afford the luxury of falling to learn to take (care) of myself inside, they stopped (and) looked around. Okay, this is getting very good. I like the imagery. I like the fight between the two bands. You did a great job on clarity. Just some minor editting on grammar and punctuation...
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