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kay2383's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Clio, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 03
LOC: Clio, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 03
I enjoy writing poetry, or stories that just flow from my heart. Sometimes after I’ve written a few lines I’m not sure if it even makes sense until I’ve reread it. But I think thats why i enjoy it so much because of the freedom that i can be anyone or go anywhere with a pad of paper and a pen(or perhaps now in this new day and age a computer monitor, keyboard and some fast fingers lol) I know I’m not the best writer and probably never will be but I’m here simply because i enjoy it and I enjoy reading others as well. Oh and I am really bad at grammar and punctuation as well so I’m sure you’ll have a lot of insight on that or some useful help on improvement, and all is appreciated.
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Version 1
8 Reviews
0 Comments
Jumping through hoops to get ahead, If I don't stop now I'll end up dead.
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Version 3
4 Reviews
1 Comment
CHAPTER: 1 “Stay right here okay baby, mommy will be right back!” Her mother smiled trying to cover up the tension in her voice not wanting to frighten her 3 year old baby girl. She quickly stood up and headed out of the room. Instantly loud crashes and screams filled the house. Frightend, the little girl ran across the room and reached up on her her tippy toes. She slowly opened the bedroom door. “Mommy..” she said in a low terrified voice as she peaked around the co...
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Version 1
11 Reviews
0 Comments
It's kinda strange when you look back on your life and think where did i go wrong? Because even if you think you could possibly answer that question, you would undoubtedly be wrong. I say that because sometimes the smallest decisions we make can be the life altering ones. and who stops and thinks about those little wrong turns. I say don't dwell on your past, and if you find yourself in a future that you never intended to have, do something about it NOW.
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Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
Speaking with your eyes closed, hoping to blind me from the truth. Stabbing words with your murderous tongue, slashing with each flicker. Smiling as you spread your poison. My heart pumps harder as it fights this battle, unwilling to surrender and break down. Tempting me to forgive and forget, these flowers are as cold as your heart. Fake and deceiving at best. Unable to clean this mess you've made bloody hands won't come clean. casualties of war they say. Picking up my bloody heart cradling ...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
I love the way you make any meal taste like heaven As if an angel brought it down just for you and me I love the way you whisper in my ear saying I love you, ever so softly I love the way you look at me when we dance, like I'm the only woman in the world and I'm yours I love the way our love has lasted so long A love that everyone wants and adores I love the way you rub my shoulders without me asking Making every muscle feel like nothing at all I love the way you make me love you diving head ...
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Ok in a political sence I can see how this might be funny, however, I personally don't think it is. As for the limerick, it feels forced. Also the "...'s" are a little too much to put them in twice, and unnecessary.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I really liked the the rhyming of this poem, it flowed nicely. The only critiqe i could really give you on this is, you need to have more punctuation. For example maybe: Take me to a field of daisies, Brush my hair from my eyes. Kiss softly my freckled cheek, As we watch a slow sunrise. Smell the sweet aroma, Of dew bathed flowers all around. Feel the earth below our naked feet But never make a sound. Lay with me in that field of daisies, Hold me tight don't let go. Give me these few short mo...
"so felt really puzzled" = so I felt really puzzled "how cold the skin was, and he" - how cold the skin was and he (Theres no need for a coma) ‘That man is a good shot, and he intended to kill,’= "That man is a good shot and he intended to kill." = you needed to put quotes (") instead of commas (') and again you don't need the comma before and. You also need a period after he's done talking. Your using alot of commas (')instead of quotion marks (") I think this story is interesting. It seems...
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