kayakndan's profile

kayakndan avatar
AGE: 34
LOC: Boaz, AL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 27

Just hit 33, living in NE Alabama.  Working on five different books (various genres)  and working for a living.  Married with the toddlers, I tend to be an outdoorsman as often as possible.  Have written a number of essays and poems and trying to get my first manuscript rewritten as a screenplay.  Please check out the excerpts from “Fire For Effect” in my portfolio.  It is the most complete of my books and by far the most marketable.

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Version 1
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Both detest the clenched eyes, that taunt shudder yielding embarrassed sputtering spray. A brow not yet sweaty- but still an obligatory moan the abrupt end of the lay. Those ill-timed ecstatic shivers the ebbing of rigid form yielding to stuttering quivers shortening a ribald and carnal act. Now two fresh strangers wonder what to do about the unseemly sap. Quickly comes the flushing of cheeks. Shortcomings extremely apparent, all allusions to manly prowess dribbling around and errant. Out com...
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Poetry / The Sipsey Fork
Version 2
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Eons of water carvings yield all- encompassing halls for my enduring devotionals. Frigid ripples of nature's lapping knife awash with dimples of coloured leaves. Unseen trout peckings, squealing kingfisher jealous of my creel, lovelorn hawks passing through. Thrashing down the brushy hall two squirrels twitter-pated, dancing a jig. A beaver's tail adding an occasional tympanic flourish. I stand mute knee-deep mouth agape enthralled by the concert. I dare not clap lest los maestros bid me adie...
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Poetry / The Sipsey Fork
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Eons of water carvings yield evermore harsh halls for my enduring devotionals. Frigid ripples of nature's lapping knife awash with dimples of coloured leaves unseen trout peckings squealing kingfisher jealous of my creel lovelorn hawks passing through. Thrashing down the brushy hall two squirrels twitter-pated, dancing a jig. I stand mute knee-deep mouth agape enthralled by the concert. In the pools there is silence. Crickets have gone to ground trout match the hatch with ferocity but silentl...
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Action Adventure / Fire For Effect ch 14 excerpt
Version 1
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Chapter 14 Cape Fear, NC The crashing surf seemed much too violent for any boat to land ashore, and Tariq feared he had gone through all of his preparations for nothing. He hoped it was not so, since his trail would easily be followed when the FBI got into full swing. The lone U.S. member of the Chosen’s plot had left his comfortable life in New York a week prior and had spent most of his time driving and nervously watching for a random speeding stop that would be the end of him and Hazim’s p...
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Version 1
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A dervish in life, now more so in death tossing aside notions of physics and poise silent sexy shadow spinning asunder her daily essence a loco trip without tangibility Now she puts on a show unencumbered by pangs of self awareness or tethers to mortal earth. In the glow of black lights a sultry sparkle spinning. Billions of dusty specks colliding undeniably revealing her glowing form. At times she beckons to me as I lay beaming on our bed. That finger of sultry moxie, beckoning for me to joi...
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Reviews
Short Story / "The Safe House"
Some quick notes and suggestions: (brief due to credits) seams not seems ...it is not. I am simply grateful... ...whiskey taste sweeter on the nights you dwell too much. ...more like a living trance. ...too easy, cut and dried acts of evil to prove to us they are foul. But,.. ...an escape. I was lucky, I found one. Would cut a few of the ands out and make new sentences where the contraction is. You never indicate who she is in relation to you, family, friend, imaginary? Just a few quick thoug...
Non-fiction / getting to mr. right
Without any information to go on as far as what this piece is to be (short, novel, essay, etc.) I can only go on the heading Beginning and Middle and assume some things about it. The first issue is probably not your fault but Urbis. There are no paragraph indents that would help with the pacing of the story. It is a bit willy-nilly to read but I suspect it's due to the format. I tend to be a direct writer when I go, being a fan of Papa it is my normal cry of "Simplify!" that I will toss out h...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / My Father's Son
Very touching. I lost my mother when I was 23 and carrying on much as you when the news of dreaded cancer came, so I can relate completely. As for tats, I have none and really never cared for them on me. I am not adverse to them on others and for a personal devotional to your father, it fits the bill. One note though. Van Gogh's Starry Night is a classic and an interesting choice, but did your father not have any works of his own for copying? Even a kite woudl be an intersting choice if perso...
Haiku/Senryu / Opposites Attract
Typical haiku should blend a little better. Summer thunderstorm doesn't clench into the first lines or the title.
Novel Treatments / Future Crime Chpt 6 (1/3)
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