keebler_elf_79's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Coventry, CT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 04
LOC: Coventry, CT
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 04
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Have you ever had a dream so real, so vivid that once awake you weren’t sure which the dreams were and which was the reality? Sad to say, but it happens to me, a lot. But this time, this dream, it was just so much more, and the reality of it was frightening. The words lingered long after I woke this morning, “You must survive.” That was all the man in the black tattered cloak said in an ominous tone. His voice however was soothing, gentle; I almost could see music in the ai...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Life, it’s a strange thing. Never what one wishes to come of it but not in an entirety something disagreeable? Mine; well that’s a long and tainted tale. I guess if I must, then the beginning is where to start. It was an uncharacteristically warm night, my mother told me once when asked upon it. She said that the warmth of the night only served to worsen the pains of bearing my birth. She tales the tale as a solider would tell of battles won by bloodshed and morbidity. Strange, to...
Version 1
2 Reviews
11 Comments
You linger on the flesh like a mark on the soul Long have we been friends, yet venture to be more, yet not I’ve placed reins on my heart and suffer to keep it in check A task that grows harder with each passing day It leaps at the sound of your voice, And dances with a look from your eyes You sent I find everywhere sending chills down my spine I feel you inside of me long after you have departed I fear that in the end, this, all of this will end In nothing more than a river of tears An...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
My life has changed and changed again Many times over since birth unto death Reinventing, born anew Looking for the one life that brings greatest joy Life of love Life of dark Somewhere admits the middle, Shall I find the door to my soul agape? I long to find the one true piece The key to my happiness Sooner rather than never Something to quench my lust for others Something to calm the fires of my loin Something . . . To be
Version 2
2 Reviews
9 Comments
I give unto you my heart Careful with it, is all I ask Broken is it, Shattered some may say Long time since it ‘twas whole Mend my scars, hold me close Tears stain worse than blood Words were harsh, Lies were told No love to be given Lost in the lie that I thought was love Why do I let this happen to myself . . .?
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I understand the feelings behind this, but I don't see it as much in the way of poetry. I suggest revistion, that is if you wish to pass it off as a poem. Other then that all I can say is I understand your feelings.
I like the idea, but to me it seems a little more like a two person poem then a stage play. Unless that was the intention you may want to add a little more direction and a bit more dialog. Just a friendly suggestion. Vampires are an old race by nature so try to play on that, make him out to be old and worldly but inturn they most often adapt to the changing the times.
I know I'm very dyslecix so I don't mean to poke at your clairical misspellings, but if you have a chance, go back, there are a few words that are in the wrong form for your story. Other then that I like what you've writen. I like the conflict between the sisters. It's tells a sad tale of marrital break up and the pain shared by the children left in its wake.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People











