keelydurant's profile

keelydurant avatar
AGE: 41
LOC: Chesterfield, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18

Southern gal. College English professor. Avid music lover.

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Poetry / Nautilus of Pain
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
How does one make meaning out of suffering? Internal chaos, raging fire, that threaten to burn out the inner light. Trapped in desert sand, I swim mightily. Stranded on an island, I scream into the wind. Backed up to the cliff edge, I dip my toe into the cold universe. At the crossroads, I fight the tides that pull at me. I do not understand Snow on yellow daffodils; Copper leaves suffocating green grass; Rain on a sunny day; I do not understand Coffins made for babies; Blood stains on a whi...
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Novel Treatments / Behind the Picture Chapter 2
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Chapter 2 Twenty minutes away from the accident, in a sprawling subdivision, Lieutenant Matthew Dix sat in his unmarked police cruiser, his feet dangling out the driver’s side door, one hand clutching a clipboard, the other gripping his radio receiver. His laptop was plugged into the police dispatch program, and he watched the words scrawl across the screen, as the dispatcher’s dispassionate voice echoed the words. “Multiple vehicle accident on 285 at exit 4B. All available...
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Short Story / Mercy
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
Mercy “But it was for mercy,” I wanted to scream. My wrists ached from the handcuffs which bit into my skin. My head spun with the cadence of blue which cast a blipping light into my retina as I stared out the window of the police car. Didn’t even Jesus himself say, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be given mercy?” I had learned my lesson with the squirrel. Didn’t they know that I had made my mistake before? I could not do it again. It had been...
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Novel Treatments / The Highest Bidder
Version 1
2 Reviews   2 Comments
Chapter 1 It was only by mistake that we found the house in the first place. It was in an auction advertisement buried in the middle of The Staunton Gazette. We had stopped off for lunch at a roadside barbeque restaurant in the little town of Staunton, Georgia. The paper had been left on our table; I casually flipped it open, and there it was. The house from my nightmares. I had been having dreams lately, starting before Jason and I left on our trip to visit his brother. In the dream, I was...
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Short Story / Mercy
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
Mercy “But it was for mercy,” I wanted to scream. My wrists ached from the handcuffs which bit into my skin. My head spun with the cadence of blue which cast a blipping light into my retina as I stared out the window of the police car. Didn’t even Jesus himself say, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be given mercy?” I had learned my lesson with the squirrel. Didn’t they know that I had made my mistake before? I could not do it again. It had been...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
As a YA novel, I am unsure who the audience would be for this novel. The content seems for a much younger child than the traditional YA range 9-13. The introduction grabs interest with a powerful entity with a magical snowglobe. But somehow Old Man Winter seems more of a fairy tale caricature. He lacks depth and a personality that invites the reader to follow onward. You writing itself is very good. Nice structure. Good word choice. The conversation between Old Man Winter and the snowglobe se...
Short Story / Broken Glass
I am confused by this story. These two characters are not human, yet they act human? Eric says that he feels less and less, yet he contradicts himself by his own emotional outbursts (and especially Tommy). Eric says they do not sin, they are not prone to violence, yet they throw things at each other? I am assuming that is the point? So no one wants to be human, even the robots? I pick up conflicting messages throughout, so at the end, I am left feeling like the theme of this piece is cloudy. ...
You have the suspense building. There were several points where I felt the character's helplessness. I like the overall set-up that you have going on here. There are a few places where I feel that you could cut some- for example, describing how tall your villian is. You repeated your description far too much. Also watch how many times you use the word "peripheals." The point where you were discussing the lights, then the orange light could be condensed. "he figured that the man was going thro...
Flash Fiction / A Motel Seduction, 1989
Wow! I like erotica, but I've never seen this particular brand. This jury is definitely out to lunch on this one (albeit NOT a lunch of raw oysters and hot sauce), but... Her description is real, seductive in a gross feast of junk food. The chili sauce sliding between her legs is effective. Effective in what, I'm not sure, but I felt a twang of revulsion. I have an issue with the peanut butter. He is watching the peanut butter in her hand and then she rubs her palms along his neck, but then t...
Poetry / Faith's Grace
Your message is good. I like the theme of betrayal that you carry through. Punctuation-wise, you use a simplistic, couplet form. However, there are places where you need punctuation at the end of your first line. You also need commas in other places- line three, "time and time," line eight,"Without a word," line seventeen "and at this time,". the poem would be better served without the form you have imposed on it. The punctuation and form of the poem should assist with the reading. It is simi...
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