kortneyrose's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Ada, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 27
LOC: Ada, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 27
I am 23 years old. I live in a small town in Ohio. I have a little girl who is going on seven months old. She is the true meaning of perfection. She makes my life whole. The only other thing that makes me as happy as she does is writing. I absolutely love to write. It is my passion in life, and the one thing that really helps me get through the hard times. I have been writing since I was a little kid. I remember taking my books and turning them to the front and back where it was blank and writing poems. I guess it has just kind of stuck with me through the years. I hope you enjoy my stuff!
Items
Version 1
12 Reviews
5 Comments
Being a mom was not planned per say, but a blessing nonetheless. I am not perfect nor is my life for the fact, but I wanted a baby when the timing was perfect. It wasn’t the perfect time though for the mere fact that I was in my prime so to say. I was twenty-two and loving life. I had just quit a bar tending job after meeting a certain someone. We will call this certain someone “J”. J was a townie that had just moved back from the wonderful state of California where a football scholarship we...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 5
39 Reviews
12 Comments
First off, my name is Webster you see, and I’d like to take you on a journey with me. Let me take you to a magical place. Full of mystery and magical grace. A place where there are fairies, elves and much more. Just grab my hand, and we’ll fly out the door. We’ll skip along the rainbow, until we reach the end. Then we’ll follow the golden lane through the winds and spins. When we reach the magical creek, the fairies will lead the way. The most helpful creatures in this land I would have to sa...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 4
6 Reviews
2 Comments
First off, my name is Webster you see, and I’d like to take you on a journey with me. Let me take you to a magical place. Full of mystery and magical grace. A place where there is fairies, elves and much more. Just grab my hand, and we’ll fly out the door. We’ll skip along the rainbow, until we reach the end. Then we’ll follow the golden lane through the winds and spins. When we reach the magical creek, the fairies will lead the way. The most helpful creature in this land I would have to say!...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
1 Comment
You say you want to know me. You say you want to see inside. I don't think that you do. It's ugliness I hide. I try to be this person, that leads a perfect life. But day by day I suffer Through loneliness and strife. I'm always trying to better myself. In every way I know. But something must be wrong with me Cause you always have to go. As hard as it seems to be, I always make it through the day. But I always wonder whats so wrong to make you runaway.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
8 Reviews
4 Comments
I'm past the point of sorrow... Why should something be so excruciating??? Especially when it may not have actually existed... In a world in frayed with nothing but loneliness it becomes way too easy to imagine something instilled with perfection... Love is just a word... An illusion of the mind... Something so many want to have...to feel...to believe... "That love" that is pure and untainted....UNTOUCHABLE... It makes life so much easier at times to believe in its "greatness." Theres a time ...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I think this is a great start. If I might make a few suggestions....I would change, "These gentle lips do for you wait" to "These gentle lips do wait for you" The other suggestion is to change up the last line a bit. It misses the flow you have going.
"Shooting" instead of "shotting" Should be, "Slowly, I fold" You go from past tense to present tense in this line. "Swallowed half my drink" instead of "half my drunk" "Still" instead of "stull" Those are the simple corrections that I saw. This could make for a great short story or novel depending on what route you want to take. You do a great job at catching the imagery of the characters surrounding and feeling. Great job on that!
I love this! Personally I think it is extremely hard to write Haiku for the mere fact that I think it is defficult to be able to grasp the reader with just a few words, but you did it in this. The title is by far perfect for this!
I don't know if this is some kind of personal experience or just an inspired piece, but I went through a phase of writing like it. I was really into real life traumatic pieces, writing about horrible ordeals that people deal with in everyday life. I really like this. I would give it a second glance though, and really look at your sentence structures. The words are sharp and edgy and really come together for the reader, but the rhythm is off in a few different places. Work on that, and I think...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
