This was a poignant piece, and made me think how much it would mean for a woman to read who is an abusive relationship. Your metaphor of the claws was great, as well as how you continued it on into bleeding emotions.

This reads very well as a press release, however the last paragraph reads like a promotion for iUniverse, rather than a promotion of your own, hard-earned efforts. If there is any way to pull out the iUniverse information (which takes over your own) then I'd suggest doing it. Loved the synopsis. It looks like you've worked hard on Little Woods. Great premise. Sending good wishes you way. Hope this was helpful.

A nice poem about love, loss, and remorse. The rhythm is pretty consistent, but slightly sing-songy at times, but I actually liked it. It gave it a lighter feeling, since the subject is sort of sad.

I got chills when I read this. That's always a good sign. The way you write pulled me in immediately and I felt as though I was in the kitchen, watching, but not clearly seeing. Wonderfully done.

I read through this a couple of times until the image came into my mind. At first I didn't quite get it, but then I got the feeling. the calling to house description made me imagine a mother noisily calling everyone to dinner as though she were announcing it to every wall in the house, from ceiling to floor.

I'm new to this review, and new here in general, so I hope my comments will be meaningful. Your first person point of view is done really nicely and the way you moved from Charlotte's thoughts to the events and dialogue is really well done. I can't think of anything that needs to happen as far as story or grammar goes. This is obviously a well-polished piece. I did feel like I lost interest early on, but when you picked up the pink hearse part of it and connected the earlier introduction of i...

This is clearly well-polished and worked on. The only thing that jumped out at me is that the tense changes from past to present. I may be wrong, but from my research a synopsis is best done in the present tense. So, for example, it would read here, like this: "a time when the child Brittan Lee LEARNS about segregation," and "events which INCLUDE the death of her father." I truly hope this was helpful. I'm new here.

A few observations that I hope are helpful: It's important to stay consistent in past or present tense. Your first two sentences show that you need to decide which tense to stick with: "The sun ROSE and so did the man from his dreamless sleep. He GETS up from his make-shift bed." I really like your description of the leader of the posse. The dialogue of the dog that goes "woof" and what the cowboy says to him could be a little more clear. Try leaving it out and see what happens :O) The barten...

This came across as a story that belongs in a different category other than humor and satire. You've got two girls who put themselves in a dangerous situation where they could be physically hurt, with a man who is willing to put them in cages, or at least joke about it. Humor doesn't have that kind of threat in it. So, this seems like more of a--hmmm....I can't remember all the categories they have here...fiction, piece? It would be interesting to see how the story comes across without so man...

The story was clearly written, and had a great lesson in it about sharing and making friends. The only things that jumped out at me were the sentences that ran into the next sentence instead of having a period. Look for the sentences that read like a complete sentence and put a period there instead of a comma. Also, the sentence length needs to be much shorter for the 4 - 8 year-old category. That, or make it for an older age group? You had some really fun details about wanting to buy a human...