ladykookoo's profile

I really liked this. Your use of the word "Gelatinous" is very clever and creates a striking image against the rest of the piece. It also adds humour to it, so that the underlying message is seen as a mere "hitch in the road" rather than something that gets someone down. Much like someone who is constantly dieting with no luck. Excellently written. I do have a love of contemporary Haiku and havent read something quite so amusing for a while.

For someone as young as 15, this piece is just magical. There is no doubt in my mind that someone so young could have so much feeling, its a time when every emotion is at its peak. It crosses the boundaries though with its grown up attitude and take on a 'first date' scenario. The story of true young love that many dream about. Here is becomes real. It is fantastically written from this point of view and also how you use the words to paint your picture here. A few of my favories that I believ...

A wonerfully written view on life. It appeared to me to have a touch of pagan values about it. The need to explore your curroundings and to just accept the world as we are a part of it, not owners of it. I especially liked the line "mould yourself fine as lace" as it summed up images of beauty, so delicate. Really nicely done.

I really liked this piece. Telling its story of a split due to miss communication. I particuloarly liked the way that you used the words, distorted and departed as these sum up very strong images of lovers torment. Your first stanza realy opened the piece well, those two first lines pulling me in, like a secret shared. Excellent.

I think whomever has told you your work is good, they are absolutely right. This piece is wonderful. There are several parts of this piece that I particularly liked, your use of imagery is great in the line regarding the mask, on like glue. The first stanza was the one that struck me the most. It jumped off the page at me and I saw this person alive one minute very much like thumder and lightning that quickly disappears into a storm. I wish you the very best with your writing. You have a uniq...