Roaches creeping up my leg.. perhaps I better move now. Its been a while since I've been sitting here.. The mold considers me another piece of furniture. Lice have created gated communities on my head.. in my armpits and other hair filled areas.. I no longer feel the itchiness all over my body.. The walking of spiders all over me...I now invite. The fleas that jump from body crevice to body crevice... entertain me. The rats that come often to nibble on my ears are nice to listen to. I can't r...

You are the best thing from my past.. He said. It's you...solely you, with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.. He said. You are my youth..The air that I breath.. You have the skin that I want to touch, lick and scratch.. You make the moans and groans that I yearn and work for.. You have that long hair.. That long hair that falls on your bare back and sticks to you from our sweat..and it drives me crazy.. You have that breath.. That hard breath, that when I feel it on my ear, my chest a...

You mean it's not real? You were never here? You never touched me and gave me goosebumps? You never made me giggle and blush with those kinky little comments? You never meant to call or tell me that you cared for me? You never asked me to come over? You never lifted my skirt up with a savage desire to be fed? Never? Never? It never really happened? Sorry I must have a wrong number then... Thank You, Have a nice day.

Screaming so silently right about now...tired and lifeless after it all...My head pounding..pounding..My eyes burning..burning...No where to turn..no one to turn to...Everyone's gone...Everyone's flying around with their guardian angel, and me? Sitting here in the mouth of darkness... Hands looking old, ashy and yes even wrinkled from the cold...the cold..oh! its so cold...cover me...cover me...make me and keep me warm...make me and keep me safe from harm...chase all the sexual feelings away....

The heat of your breath on my back The tightness of your stomach on my ass The roughness of your hands on my hips The stiffness of your.....inside of me The softness of your lips on my inner thighs The strength of your sucking on my ........ The length of my moans when I'm with you The release that we both give after hours of play The sweet sweat that makes our bodies stick & The taste of your pleasure in my mouth

DAMN THIS FEELING OF HOPELESS-NESS! IT HURTS! AND I CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT! I WANT TO GET UP...WHY CAN'T I? I WANT TO LEAVE...WHY DON'T I? I WANT, I WANT, I WANT... WHY DON'T I HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? I'M GOING TO DO IT. I KNOW I WILL. I HAVE TO...RIGHT?

I can feel it coming over me again. I know its coming. I'm scared I don't know if I can fight it again. It was so hard last time I am tired I don't know if I can. I've been crying again. Haven't changed out of these pajamas in three days. and forget about the shower. I don't know if I can. Its hard...its hard I don't want to go back there again I really don't... I really don't. I'm going there aren't I? ...yes, yes I think you are. But am I not stronger than before? ...doesn't look like it. B...

I AM SO DONE! I can't...I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I can not continue to wait for you... Thank You for being there...SERIOUSLY THANKS! You were the ONLY ONE there...when I thought I was going insane... Really. REALLY! But MAN! How I don't have patience for these sort of things...and I know that you don't either. You are worse than me but, I'M SO DONE! I can't...I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I am going to miss you...you know I will I care too much about you..and I know you care about me too. In your own ...

Take this razor blade off of my WRIST! Take this knife that you've spit into my CHEST! Turn around... and let me see your face! Let me see who it is exactly that continues to build these WALLS AROUND ME! Let me feel this wreched pain that does nothing but feed my RAGE! Come...come closer! Don't be afraid... Look at me... LOOK AT ME NOW!! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL TAKE OVER YOUR WORLD! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL RAISE UP AND CRUSH YOUR EVIL SCHEMES! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL DESTROY YOU! I AM THE ONE!

Screaming so silently right about now...tired and lifeless after it all...My head pounding..pounding..My eyes burning..burning...No where to turn..no one to turn to...Everyone's gone...Everyone's flying around with their guardian angel, and me? Sitting here in the mouth of darkness... Hands looking old, ashy and yes even wrinkled from the cold...the cold..oh! its so cold...cover me...cover me...make me and keep me warm...make me and keep me safe from harm...chase all the sexual feelings away....