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LAST LOGIN: January 13
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On a hill...on a hill made of perfect dust, there was born a man we all could trust. That's the way god made him. He stood tall and thin, a real gentleman. Everyone was blown away by the old man. And they still don't believe what he did for them. He had such big plans. Ones that were no stranger to chance. He never changed his mind. He never loosened his tie. It was always do or die. And eventually...the artist had passed, leaving behind his fortune in canvas. To be at peace with the visions ...
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Version 1
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a rushing tingle open your eyes look around see your surroundings, forcepts of time challenge the oppertunity find the courage never say no, always agree and you see it it's there, and it's all around you haunting feel its presence its taintness drawing you closer devine sensation you breathe open your eyes pulsing, grinding, feel it it starts the room gets clearer, closer, sharper brilliant take another breath, gripping, exhale feel your heart beat faster, in rhythm, racing feel the blood in...
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Version 1
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a summer slept soundly this childs awaken and lost without waves washed my weeks climbing days through calender a sweet voice cry in your soft summer slumber your tight cradles hand knowing winters fall and the days favourite freezin the warms of my breath through the cooling flat fragrance for a sweet voice cry rising days dreams
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Version 1
5 Reviews
2 Comments
My little addiction Has got me on my knees This little attraction It's got me in a tight squeeze Show a little compassion Ails a crippling plead--fulfills the basic need "What a pathetic condition" Said the doctor to the need Set a course of extraction The burning's call I must heed A reversed reaction Will give a dollar to the deed A plan of attack(tion) Go and plant a bigger seed So thickens my distraction Soothing comfort as I bleed
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Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
"So I'm not perfect." Justified my thought. Gave me a reason. A reason to block. Changing season A voice of reason "Let's get on with the pleasin'" Behind my posessions My family ties A change in regression I see the impression And a well managed lesson A lifelong decision And now, just a vision
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This poem honestly is doing nothing for me. I find it abstract. I do understand the comparision of war and daily life, however the word "bugle" annoys me, just my opinion though.
1st- 2nd- You are describing to me this "flat" that was once full of life, a relationship that broke up and devision of household items. 3rd-The items were all damaged. 4th-Now you are painting away all of the memories. 5th- 6th-((parenthesis)) I'm having a hard time with "them" seems like I can't figure out who "them" is. 7th-Red (showing) the hell you've been through, Rose-love, and Blue-empathy. 8th-The end of the relationship "the ball dropped" without any sugar coating or warning. The re...
A silhouette of shadows Reflected darkness on the shore. Alone she stands against the wind(.) ("She", is strong willed and independent.) Her red hair blowing back, The air in heaving thickness warns –(Good first stanza, nice imagery, "in heaving thickness warm", for a storm) A storm is coming soon. She knows the storm will come Long before it hits(.) Built up from mistakes long past – A flooding life’s revenge. (This line stands out to me, it says, "natures ways of getting revenge". "Flooding...
Wow, I really liked this. Maybe beacuse I can really relate. You really got your point across well. I like all your "hopes" and how I get a sense on competitiveness between the speaker and "he". The speaker tells me that words and verbalization are only one part. Not to let that "one part" destroy you. Be more like a "flishlight", "light", to me signifying inspiration; and guidance. It said to me that "he" being more "linguistically correct" : Should see there is more to it, and that you coul...
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Reminiscant of those days missing and longing for the one we love. I like your comparison of teardrops and rain. Your use of imagery is very strong. I think if you inserted line breaks you could put more emphasis on each thought by use of a "stanza". ex. My teardrops keep falling just like the rain when I’m thinking about you. My heart cries out to hear your voice again. My mind is clouded with pictures from the past. All of you. My soul is dying without you to nourish it. My love, where are ...
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