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AGE:
27
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
LOC: Saint Louis, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
Items
Version 1
10 Reviews
3 Comments
They give you a teddy bear. Not the large, soft plush ones, but the ones that seem threadbare before they are even in the hands of the child. The stitching is uneven, and the seems are loose. If I were anywhere else, I would think it was a piece of shit... which it is... but here, for some reason, it is not, and I am grateful that I have something to possess. They also give you a toothbrush and a box of used crayons. These are generic as well. The toothbrush head is too large; the bristles ar...
Version 1
9 Reviews
8 Comments
As the bus pulled up to his home, Michael could see his grandfather, with a book at his side, sitting patiently on the steps to the front porch. "See ya tomorrow, Mikey," a voice called out as Michael made his way to the front of the bus. "Yeah, later Jerry," Michael called as he turned back to wave, and as he took a step forward his foot snagged on the strap of another student’s book bag. The boy braced himself with the backs of the bus seats as he fell to his knees. The fall ignited a canno...
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Reviews
I really like this if only because it seems to be the pattern of my work week, minus the smoking of course. The title implies that a girl is the inspiration for the thoughts and attempted writings, but it fits well for any writer that just can't quite get out what he or she is trying to say. Probably not meaty enough for publication, but it is enjoyable nonetheless.
You stated that this was for a writing assignment, and as such it feels a little forced. When dealing with a character like this you have to make sure that he or she does not become a caricature or stereotype. Though I don't think it was intentional it almost feels like the character is mocking those that are mentally handicapped. I'm not sure what will fix it, but I think to be believable the piece needs to be written with a greater degree of sensitivity and personality. It seems as though t...
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