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liz83's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: San Jose, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 09
LOC: San Jose, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 09
Hi everyone I’m journalist’s major at San Fransisco University. Ever since I was a child I’ve had a passion for writing. Writing for me is a way to express myself and release stress from my every day life. I hope you guys enjoy some of my work.
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
1 Comment
The water surrounding the stone built castle sparkled as clear as day and tasted sweeter than ripe nectar. The smell of fresh cut grass filled the crisp morning air, as the sound of Jonathon’s yawn was all that could be heard. Jonathon opened his puddles of dark chocolate eyes to this beautiful filled morning, but deep down in his gut he knew today would be different. As always, his manservant rushed into his bedroom chamber carrying runny yolks and dry toast sided with muddy coffee on a silv...
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Reviews
I don't like any of your suggestions for titles. I do not believe that it fits the story. I believe that the story is about flirting, drinking, laughing and enjoying life. Sadly, I don't have a suggestion for your title. I wish I could give you a suggestion. I think that you should change this line a little bit. Her southern accent louder than she knew; yet, he listened as if whispered, leaning forward in his chair. To something like: Her southern accent echoed louder in his ears than she rea...
It is an interesting idea for a story. There is a lot of confusion in this story. They fall into a black hole and end up in evil king town. They are in jail then two women want them to save the village. That is the story line, I think. You need to make it follow better. You jump from one part of the story to the next. It is confusing to the writer. Also develop the character, I cant understand why these children are suppose to save a village. I believe that you also should try to use some cre...
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