The service Industry I’m not sure how I came to that conclusion as a little girl when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up that the logical answer was “a cocktail waitress at Caesar’s Casino in Vegas.” Now, at thirty-two, I’d just received my uniform for the hotel cocktail waitress position I once thought would be elegant and glamorous. As an adult, I’d been in marketing positions with various corporate companies since I was out of high school. After being chained to a desk and departing ...

Speaking to you is like plucking eyebrows tiny sensations of pain over and over again, pulling out hair one strand of dignity at a time, just to look a little better Hearing your voice is an abscess reminder of going away and inflamed tension that takes me weeks to get over, while my mind attempts to rewind and replay each word, syllable and consonant Staring at you is like a reflection of ones self in an addiction be it a bottle or mirror, It’s a truth too hard to swallow and too difficult t...

I ran from Judas’ kiss as a child I embraced him turning my cheek as an adult Betrayed led astray I give in too easily to doubt I beg stones for bread unable to live alone and I have starved for so many days and nights My friends Sacrificed next to me being less pettily thefted lives I saved souls never believing the truth in lies Into your hands, I commend my spirit Lift me above, please

My tendency to wake up in the middle of the night strikes again With the blinds up and the window open I lay in bed like a faithful dog, staring at street lights resembling the star that led Joseph and Mary to the manger I watch signals slow, stop and go pass without traffic The sign continually says don’t walk with a steady red hand, like me it does not blink I see leaves rustle without sound and pitch black sleep far and wide I think of you And decide to take two chewable melatonin, then sw...

Reduction taken at counter Offer me another Sip, swallow, pour You’ve lived another life makes it easy to rationalize you’re half spent Two for Tuesdays don’t help pay the rent, I’ve got my own address Return the mail from wherever it’s sent That’s a P O’d box alright not quite what it meant, fools of sentiment quicksand discovery will sink hole you to China find you aren’t the only one populating the world and slant eyed productions stamped maidens are all the same some distribute a little f...

Time fleets selfishly while you have no problem straddling me, pounding holding my hips to keep your rhythm I bury my face, scream wishing I would just shut up You are staring at yourself in the mirror thinking of how tiny I am I don’t have to look back at you or forward toward the looking glass, for humility to become clear I am lying naked in it Reveling in how easily everything I gained in dignity, pride and preservation disappears

No cream or sugar Just bitter wakening More wakening Swallowing hand in handle My hands are cold My arms frozen in my own home, Sand paper silence Smoothes your point across Edging off little pieces of me Just dust, it will pass in the breeze

I don’t want to sleep yet I don’t want to wake up feeling a little less than yesterday similar to the crack of dawn I saw today, There was little of you motivating me to get out of bed Just imagery of blank expressions peering from gray draped windows seeing black pupils resembling caves linear darkness with no outlet I don’t want your rain down on me I don’t want the same I was free in flight Now I am lost at night, alone Listening to songs repetitively weep lyrics and low guttural moans rem...

unattractive in my need for you too much to ask, everything You are indifferent beyond measure distanced and equating the integers of nothing I have become divided by my desire to forge forward, running, chasing and tackling you down back down to me, shoving your nose in to see the grass is greener, instead, you hop the fence, you don’t want to stain your knees begging again I wait, broken by the wind break I feel like a lost cat in the hallway Howling, yowling for someone to hear me I want t...

I am falling empathetic to your mood feeling similar too much too soon came late filling the room with fashion clearly, without taste vulgar remarks strewn through waves of our hands in air dismissed, should have slapped face instead, feel abused weakening love to a statistical mean average from the group of others we conquered, divided falling like empires in ruin