The first four lines are consistent with change in time, season, past, visual and physical. The following line does not compute for me - how is remembering like our history...I miss the connection. I am guessing that somehow we are forgetting our history that led us to lose the warm/green future (global warming) ... then the last two lines bring me back to the thought of being forgotten in the breeze - a leaf in passing - as the seasons of lives change. There is still a disconnect in the hist...

I tend to critique as I read and I am now at this point of the story - "Both the victims and attackers had wounds that bled freely, their own blood mixing on the ground" and I get the imagery you're trying to convey here I think it could be done in a smoother sentence structure. "Both the victims and attackers had wounds that bled freely mixing their own blood into the ground..." The next part of the paragraph "Jacob looked at the mixture of sanguine fluids blankly. Wondering if what he had d...

I enjoyed the false impression of a resilient spirit. I'm not sure if my count is off but I don't think this is traditional haiku? (not 575, right?) For the clever word play - I'd give it a 9.

I have a feeling that the nonfiction element was a lack of choices for categories. I wouldn't publish this as non-fiction. It's more like prose or a diary entry. The thought pattern is lovely if not surreal. The imagination and ability to realize the smallness of one to the enormity of all is a great talent as a person and writer. Embrace that quality. The second to last sentence says you allow a grin to creep upon your face and I would reconsider using the word creep. emerge, swept, etc. Cre...

You know, I read this thinking it was going to be so cliche I might vomit. Instead, I really enjoyed it. It is sad. And it's even got some humor, which only the saddest minds can do well. The fear of dying keeping you alive and the wish of being able to swill your sad/tea...it's inviting into the mind which is somewhat more intimate than the poem leads one to believe the person can be.

You have some tremendously harty imagery here. Your family sounds leaps and bounds more interesting than the last stanza - which is a path you have clearly chosen for the betterment of your children; however, this poem strikes me as unfinished. Somewhere in between the asshole jerks and the pant-wearin' women you failed to unleash why you rob them from their rich heritage. I would beseech you to re-open this "case" and add on. There is far too much history not to!

I have to admit, I wasn't really all that keen on this poem. Not my favorite genre / subject matter. However, I appreciate the clever wit that was displayed in the poem and the line covered with a fig leaf of democracy had me laughing outloud in my cubicle. Good sense of humor, kind of like a Mad Magazine poem.

first paragraph - minion should be mignon. There is a lot of dialogue/information prior to getting to what Marianne was reminded of by Daisy, I had to re-read to remind myself where I was going with the story on Daisy's crackdealing dad...I think the point was to say he loves her once in a while...I would consider moving this to the front of the story rather than the back of the information. It strikes me as an untimed joked. Funny but lost in translation. Last paragraph p.2 last line, I woul...

Perfect for the season. Nice and Poe-ish of you. I found this to be creative and festive. Overall, I don't have much to critique about it. Of my personal opinion, when a sentence in a poem continues, I prefer to use the structure of leaving it uncapitalized for ease of reading but it's not a standard all writers need to follow. Nice macabre harmony here.