lovenotwar's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Orlando, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 07
LOC: Orlando, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 07
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Love not War, Such beautiful hopes
Ratings & Rankings
Opportunities
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Delusions of grandeur, Or just great?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Lost in this daydream of life
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Another time, Another place, As another dime Rolls through my face I see my light draw dim As the fire within drowns out and fades away Within sin is where I play Careful not to lose the bout Drawn through my doubt By the grim reality of who I am What makes me this person What makes me hide from daylight And feel invigorate throughout the night What makes me morally superior Why am I driven by fear What defines me as a man What forces my hand To feed the dog that bites To justify or quantify ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
Another time, Another place, As another dime Rolls through my face I see my light draw dim And fade away Within sin Is where I play Smothered out Drawn through my doubt By the grim reality of who I am What makes me this person What makes me hide from daylight And feel invigorate throughout the night What makes me morally superior Why am I driven by fear What defines me as a man What forces my hand To feed the dog that bites To justify or quantify wrongs and rights Of me and my civilization To...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I think that your background helps me understand the poem much more. I think that if I had studied what you had, it would make even more sense. Without any knowledge or background, I would have been lost. But even without background, it is a good read.
This is a very desriptive piece. Everything you wrote made me feel as if I experienced it. It was a little difficult to follow the flow of the poem, but I think I pieced it together. I love your use of drowning and being consumed by poetry...the first stanza, in my opinion, is your strongest.
This has some great imagery in the poem, but I couldn't understand if there was supposed to be a rhyme-sheme. It kind of went in and out of rhyming and it distracted me a little from the overall flow. Really good work, maybe just clean out(change some words) so that they are not followed by rhymes.
Really descriptive poetry. I would change the last line of the second stanza to stay in line with the burning and flames you spoke of throughout it.
I like your use of sleep as an escape from the harsh realities of life. Yes, we men can be jerks sometimes. Maybe a little more continuity, unless the lack thereof was what you were going for.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
