lukas's profile

I get what youre saying, but it didn't make me laugh or anything. I don't get the flyer part. Like, if you worked in the kitchen at a food joint, and said 'frequent frier miles' but there's no connection here like that. How do you know you have more than most people? Maybe if you put something in there that told us that. Like if youre a stewardess that crosses the date line a lot so you have more days, you know what I mean? and I think 'then' is suppse to be 'than.' Like i spent five years in...

That was great. I'm new and can't figure out the same thing you wrote about. WTF do they want? They gripe if you do and gripe if you don't. Tight.

This made me think of my mom. The one I live with now. She doesn't hide and stuff, but she's like the balerina outside. Really pretty and stuff and i want to feel close to her but i can't really touch her. Maybe i'm the one inside hiding behind the cracked blind. I don't know what else to say. There was an extra quote thing after shadows, but I don't know a lot about like grammar and punctuation, and don't know anyway to make it better.

I think it's cool that you saw that and wrote a whole thing about it. On this, I didn't know how old the couple was until she brought up about the baby. Might mention that somewhere. And how did he not know she was pregnant, then not know she lost it? He must have been gone somewhere. What you wrote brought up a lot of questions that you could anwer if you went bigger. You write good, so go for it.