To be perfectly honest, this story needs a lot of work. It jumps back and forth between the characters at a dizzying rate, making it difficult to follow. Also there are several inconsistencies. For example, Jora sees Ravid hit his head and rushes over to help, asking his name. Then later in the story, she reflects that she only knows his name because he told her before he hit his head. Another example of this is when she decides that continuing to talk to him won't work because he is unconsci...

An interesting piece. Does a good job of recreating Nazi imagery, as well as the attitude of these "children." The stanza in German was a problem for me because I don't know German. "Sturm und drang" was not an issue because it was immediately followed by "Blood and soil" giving me a frame of reference.

The reason for the low rating on clarity - as someone who has not read the prologue or Chapter one, I was completely lost. You might consider a brief summary in the reviewer's notes. You did state you were using this chapter to introduce characters and that action would be slow. The slow action is not an issue but you introduce too many characters too quickly with too little detail. You might consider taking a bit more time to introduce each so that the reader can develop a mental picture of ...

You have definitely given the reader the stereotypical view of a terrorist kidnapping in the Middle East, but it would be nice if you could be a bit more descriptive of the environment and maybe the thoughts of the kidnappers.

I was probably a little harsh on publication rankings, but only because it is hard to publish poetry - I scored you quite high on poetry overall though. This poem is beautifully written and the imagery quite strong. I especially liked the way that you highlighted your children's actions, your daughter walking alongside you holding your hand and your son jumping between headstones touching the lettering. It was not only easy to envision them, but their actions were so typical of the difference...

I think "started therapy" says it all. It seems the stronger the writer the more therapy necessary.

If it is a true diary - are the words truly innocent?

This is...OK. Not really all that creative, though truthful.

In general, I liked this piece. Just wondering are Tristan and Isolde based on Troilus and Cressida and if so, Shakespeare's version or Chaucer's? Or are you basing them on another piece of literature? (Shakespeare was well-known for re-working other's stories to fit his own needs.) One thing I was not clear on was how easily the group answered his questions. I would have thought that Tristan (and maybe Isolde) would be the most likely to answer questions as he was the one who apparently turn...