m_natali's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 16
LOC: Modesto, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 16
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The House always wins. Luck of the Draw. A betting man would call it no different. What do you call a man down on his luck – Desperate. So desperate to use his last bit of luck and money on a slim to none chance of winning. The house always wins is what they tell me. Only a fool would enter and not expect to lose. Why try? Cause you can’t roll over and die, life’s too short, quitters never win and all the same ol mantras the good people of the world keep telling thems...
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It's beginning is quite strong, however, it feels a little loose in the middle passage. Maybe reign it back it in a little. This is my favorite passage of the piece... Celestial words to be spoken, yet my existence is unmarked dreams cultivated only to be crushed, and kept unrespected I like your choice of language in these last lines. My only question is the use of 'unrespected'. It seems like the wrong word. Overall the piece has a unique voice
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