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manic_mind's profile
AGE:
33
LOC: Chesapeake, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 28
LOC: Chesapeake, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 28
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Version 1
11 Reviews
4 Comments
Pier 10, residing at the western edge of Norfolk’s Naval Station, has set the stage for countless scenes depicting heart-breaking separations of sailors and their loved ones; however, today is a day for rejoicing – for today the pier welcomes home the long overdue U.S.S. Nassau. The sun’s fierce rays beat down on the crowds gathered for the homecoming, but could not diminish the excitement or anticipation that consumed each man, woman, and child present this morning. Colorful balloons, minia...
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This quote isn't quite doing it for me. I feel that it is too vague, and tomorrow is misspelled. Was that intentional? You could probably find a better choice of words than "nuts", as it is too simple and doesn't bring about any imagery in the quote. I'm sorry, I really wish I could give you a better review. Good luck! :)
I like the way you're not subtle about how you don't get subtleties - good humor! :) My only criticism is your use of the ellipsis (...). Inserting a hyphen in its place would be the better choice of punctuation.
Your quote is extremely inspirational; however, you might want to consider rearranging the wording. "...one has only to believe" suggests that this is the ONLY path for one to take, whereas "...one only has to believe" would suggest that this is the BEST path to take to acheive his or her dreams. Nice quote!
I'm not quite sure the idea you are trying to relate with this memoir, but I think of a couple situations when I read it. My first take on this is that you are making the reader aware of the environmental problems on Earth, and the fact that many people still ignore it and assume that other people will figure out a solution down the road. Second, I am presented with an image of a mentally ill person who gives up on reality and instead decides to take up residence in his or her own mind. I don...
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