marebarr's profile

Clear and direct. Tells a tale so many of us know. So sad. Good luck with it man. And when you survive it and are on your own, find alanon or a good counselor to help you get the skills and peace they could never give you. Keep writing it and writing it and dreaming and planning and expressing yourself. Addiction is fed by feelings stuffed, feeling that the boozer thinks they are not entitled to, feeling that the drunk thinks are "stupid" or babyish.It is asprin for their inner hurt. Don't tu...

I like the message and the insight you share about how "hate" happens and what people - the givers - get from spreading. It can happen in big ways. But often happens is little ways. The pain and the price is so high. Thanks for saying it so quietly and clearly.

Good rhythm and sweet sentiment. But needs a little something extra perhaps away from cliche. Every soul has one of these lumbering, stirring and beautiful memories. But keep the rhythm going in your head and play with the words and see if you can fit some in there that express it in a new way.

I would say this is very strong, especially the last two stanzas. I really like it. However, in the first stanza or two, there is a hint of ego, just a hint : "A sudden magnificence, Of strength." And while I know what you are feeling, this power, because I ride too, pieces work better without any heroics. Just an opinion. thanks. Mary