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AGE: 21
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 15

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Novel Treatments / Ad initium
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Chapter One Title: Ad Initium A cool, gentle breeze shook the petals of a lone blossom tree surrounded by oaks, standing a few feet away from a small, seemingly deserted bungalow. Occasionally, a particularly strong gust of wind would cause the petals to detach from the tree and fall to the frozen sheet of frosty grass below. The ground was covered in what must have been hundreds upon hundreds of pale pink blossom petals which had fallen from the now balding tree. A narrow pathway, barely vis...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Guilty Pleasure
This is great, it intrigued me. I like your writing style and the words you choose to illustrate the scene work effectively. Watch out for your punctuation though; you wrote: 'There are something’s that have been done that I just can’t let go of'. I think you meant: 'some things' rather than 'something's'. Also, I didn't think the word 'please' was fitting with the atmosphere created by 'I'm not finished with you' or 'You come back here you coward'. I think it unlikely that 'please' would be ...
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Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Fear and Isolation
Wow, I really like this. I can find nothing to fault you on. I sometimes have a little trouble building a picture in my head of a scene when I read something but this piece seems to provide me with all the right ingredients. The choice of wording is great; I especially liked 'predatory', I think it fits the situation perfectly :) Despite the shortness of the excerpt, I find myself wanting to read more; continue writing, for sure, you're headed in the right direction!
Poetry / Orchid Lover
I enjoyed reading this; it's very well written. Your use of words is very well developed and you use several techniques to great effect such as your use of alitteration in the phrase 'sweet sticky stuff'. Great piece :) x
Novel Treatments / The Nexus Door
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