Love it! Seems more like a quote. Who knew Ninja's were full of sarcasm?

The solution is to underpants as algebra is to everything else. This is one of my favorites on URBIS. "Nectarines..." embodies what I want to read. It doesn't take itself too seriously, it is quietly laced with sarcastic undertones and is perfectly well-written. I'd love to bitch about something, but there is nothing to bitch about.

Title works - I'd keep it. This poem is one of the most insightful I've read on URBIS. It's not ranting or flailing like a spoiled kid...it's subversive and there is power in that. I wouldn't make a single change in this piece. It's really friggin' good.

I don't know that people are "stupid" but I agree with you that this is a self-evident piece that requires little imagination to understand. This poem is harsh and graphic throughout. It flows well - you describe the disease in a vivid but seemingly detached manner, so the last line not only lessens the sting, it wraps ties your emotions together. Nice job.

The hopefulness in this is heart wrenching as it seems misplaced and misguided. Such beautiful words - and what's even better, is that they are strung together in a deliberate, meaningful way. I want to read this slowly, and think it through - intentionally. I have little to critize. I find that the second stanza seems a bit ambiguous. I believe it to be about a woman, but it could just as easily be about a budding tree given the descriptions of that stanza and the subject of the entire piece...

Beautiful mash of soulful and disgusting. Says much of the author, follows guidelines and encourages the reader to re-read and absorb versus skimming over six simple words.

How interesting that the writer finds their self-worth diminishing as time goes by! This tells an entire story in very few words - however, it reminds me a bit of Hemmingway's six-word short story. Worth reading and a very telling piece. Solid work.

Based on the criteria - success! The sentence by itself is not bad, either. Even standing on it's own it produces a sense of irony and sarcasm.

Brevity, indeed. It meets the six word mark. I suppose it could sum up a life...but not a very creative one.

I'm okay with the religousness of the piece. I'm okay with the poop portion - but I'm having a hard time reconciling them to the same space. I understand that your subjects of God and poop don't necessarily go together generally, and the language you would use in reference to one wouldn't generally apply to the other. But the language seems a bit choppy - but not choppy enough to be a metaphor for the difference between these two things. The first sentence seems awkward and I'd recommend repl...