mbdew22's profile
AGE:
14
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 09
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 09
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Version 1
11 Reviews
6 Comments
“Come on Daddy, tell us!” “Yeah, tell us!” “Alright but first, is everyone’s teeth brushed and ready for bed?” Colleen will never forgive me if I let the kid’s “nightly” routine slide again. Sitting in the children’s room, it always reminds me of Eleanor. The soft baby blue colored walls the same color of her eyes. The smell of the room, soft baby powder sitting on Emily’s changing table, reminded me of the soft white color of her skin. The sound monitor, sending out the whooshing sounds of w...
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wow! this is incredible! The only thing I would work on is the poems clarity. I didn't get a very good clear sense of what the poem was about! You are an amazing poet though!
great vocabulary!! You may have used a bit too many big words so it took away from the actual meaning of the story. You might want to revise your punctuation (commas mostly.) I'm a little confused with what you mean by to make this the best non-fiction essay possible and you may want to do less ratings because it takes away from the story. I love love love the ending!! Keep up the good work!
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