well, I could retort by saying that a lot of Senryu were being posted in the Haiku section before somebody convinced Steve to rename the category “Haiku/Senryu”. I believe that the anti-limerick ABSOLUTELY belongs in the Limerick section. The whole point of an anti-limerick is that you break out of the expected rhythm to accentuate the punchline. So yeah. Thanks for your thoughts, but I disagree.
Limericks / MetaAntropomorphaAntiLimerick… Limeristiku
I must keep a traditional beat…
Step with carefully measured small feet.
Are you counting along
To my limerick song?
If I change the structure, is that not also a punchline?
Will it make you a little surprised?
“Break with format”... so very unwise!
This isn’t just a con.
I’m not putting you on!
Intentionally messing up the poem is called an “anti-limerick”. Look it up.
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klg143 reviewed Version 1 -
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Absynthe reviewed Version 1 -
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I’ve mentioned this before in other reviews, but I am actually very fond of anti-limericks. While I like the idea of this one, generally what I like about anti-limericks is that they break the beat in order to create a new beat, generating an entirely different effect than the traditional poem. However, with this anti-limerick, I feel like the beat is broken merely for the purpose of breaking it. This would do well to help teach the concept of an anti-limerick, but otherwise I think you should attempt to edit this a bit more. I feel like there’s a way to make more of a punch with this aside from simply making the last line too long. Maybe you could try making it extremely short?
Good luck, and this is a very solid start. Keep it up.
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Rowling reviewed Version 1 -
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Hmmmm, I’m not sure the best place for an anti-limerick is in the limerick section. It’s kind of like posting a fiction story in the non-fiction section and ending it by saying “Well, the fact that I wrote the store is non-fiction, so I put it here.” You are able to hold the rhythm well, but choose not to, I suppose? So, since you’ve posted in the limerick section, I will review as if it were a limerick, as opposed to an anti-limerick. If the last lines were changed to actually match the beat, which I think you could do, this would be funny. =I
duddbudda reviewed Version 1 -
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All well and good, but the concept of a limerick that just takes the michael through a completely failing final line is quite tired, is it not? I WILL remember one my english teacher taught us, which involves being able to spout about 50 feet in the time you’d normally get through less than 10.
I do like it though, good fun
HELENBISHOP reviewed Version 1 -
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I like the anti-limerick idea. Isn’t it personification when you apply human characteristics to non-human objects?
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