Poetry / Now

I liked it for the most part, I thought the way you choose to space the lines was a bit odd and it kinda took me out of the piece.

Clear picture, easy rhythm, passionate. I might offer the last line be ” I love”, but overall it was an enjoyable read.

A strong piece.  The simple structure and comparisons work well and the subtext shines through.  ”soft fingertips…slide…down my spine” is very sensual and the use of assonance helps reflect the softness of such a touch.  The enjambment at the end seems to suggest that the voice wants something more, that questions are left unanswered but for now their being together is simply enough to live and feel.  Thank you for posting x

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February 18, 2008

by KindredSpirit

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
128	94.9% (79 votes)	28.1%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
100	F	Honolulu, HI	December 01

And thank you for your constructive review.  It is wholeheartedly appreciated.

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mmm scrumptious! nothing gets me going more then the passiona exerted ‘in the moment.’ the imagery was pleasant, and i enjoyed all of the (”...”) (whatever the hell you call those dots, shit it’s late cut me some slack, k?) anywho, they brought this piece to life…the voice of the reader stuck well within me mind.

Everything before… I question
Everything to come… I dream
But now… for this moment…
                I live.

YUM.