The anniversary of my grandfather’s passing, as well as my latest brush with mortality floods my memory with a tidal wave of escapism. Amidst the flood come, one branch to reach for, and that is what my grandfather called ‘Operation.’
When I was a very small boy, my grandfather invented a game that he called “Operation.” He would seat me carefully on his firm and ample lap, lying still across him, and then slowly move his arms and hands gently over the area that needed ‘surgery.’
He would bellow out to imaginary nurses for a scalpel, or a clamp; ominous and serious sounding words that meant nothing to me at the time. All I knew was of the motions that each word was followed by; the pinch of the scalpel, the inactivity of the clamp, and finally, the tickle met by each of the stitches.
At times, despite his careful gentleness, when he proclaimed the magic sounding words, “Operation” I was at once excited and fearful. I was always firmly and truly entrenched, and under the ‘anesthesia’ the rule was that I was not allowed to move, struggle as I might want to. Still even though I could not at that moment scramble free, there was great comfort in being held tenderly and close by his strong arms. Of course, every ‘Operation’ came to an end, at which time quite swiftly and somehow always unexpectedly, came the remarkable feeling of being freed from this strength, a moment when he would shout out “Recovery Room’ and I would tumble from his lap and off his knees, laughing as he placed me tenderly upon the floor, until once again I gladly returned, a willing patient awaiting surgery.
I also have all too many memories of a real hospital as a boy. It was there that much the same game was played, though at a different level, and I must add, carried out quite seriously. There the feeling is anything but tender, strapped to beds of bright chrome and steel; unwieldy monsters that are cold and hard; and possessing you of feelings of dread, and none of joy.
I remember awaiting doctors back then, thinking how safe I had always felt in my Grandpa’s arms. It was a rough stretch of my ample imagination even back then, but if I worked hard enough I could fantasize that that hospital bed was protecting me with strong, but loving and tender care. And that I would be laughing once again when I reached the recovery room.