Poetry / MY PLAYGROUND (Analysis)
MY PLAYGROUND
Some people swing on swings
But I catapult on rockets
Through unknown worlds
On the playground of time
Some teens ride roller coasters
But I leap off of shooting stars
Through boundless universes
On the Disneyland of space
Some children slide down slides
But I zip down light beams
Through complex systems
On the community parks of matter
Some babies walk in walkers
But I trod over meteors and asteroids
Through dreams of tomorrow
On the playpen of faith
Written by Trudy Schrader on 1-11-08
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I think this is a fun piece. I see where you were trying to go. One suggestion I would make is that the line “on the community park of matter” seems really cumbersome. I think it’s because the rest of your finishing lines are 6 syllables and that one chimes in at 8.
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